No One's Decision But My Own
by ChEsHiRe81
Summary: After trials and tribulations, near death and becoming someone new, it had left Kara in shambles in the end. Everyone else had someone and who she longed to keep the closest to her never wanted her around again. She had made the decision and no one would have the chance to stop her. Kara didn't want to be hope anymore. (hurt and self-harming Kara Zor-El)
1. Downfall

_**Seven weeks of silence. **_

_**Forty-nine days of emptiness. **_

_**Seven runs, with no Game Nights. **_

_**Seven Sister's Nights cancelled. **_

_**Seven weeks, that none of them could find her. **_

_**Eighty attempts to reach her by GPS. **_

_**They were left, with silence..**_

Over _fifty-thousand _text messages had been sent to her. Her voicemail box was so full no more could be left in it.

The first and _last _few minutes before those forty-nine begun, her greatest light had walked away, sentencing her to a darkness without any escape and that internal light completely left her eyes. The strength to push herself up off the ground, faded and with it so did all of what she believed in. It was the first time in ten years, when she finally made it back to her place, that the box in the back of the closet was touched. It was hidden in a secret panel behind one of the shelves she removed, after clearing to do so. Once she set it down carefully, she put the shelf back where it went, putting everything else back in its proper place. The locked box went in the suitcase and she made the last of necessary calls.

Since her dedication and fierce loyalty to the business she worked for, she had been awarded keys and codes, which she used to get into the building. She placed her sick and vacation time forms on the new Boss' desk with a request to not be reached until a week before she was to return. She left a check at the landlady's desk, requested everything off but necessary power for appliances and whatnot. She tossed out the indoor plants in the property trash bins and wiped down everything before she left. A day later was attempt number twenty to reach her, met with her voicemail, which she didn't listen to until two days after. By the time she had, her inbox had been sent to a separate device, untraceable at that. She couldn't answer calls, but she didn't want to. Instead she removed the battery and chip in her phone, leaving it off and tossing it in the ocean, on her way out of town in an Uber. Before leaving, she notified the post office to send all her mail to the address approved by her as family on file with her thanks, explaining she would be overseas for a few months.

After reaching her destination on day four, she checked in and lightly flirted with the girls at the desk, then headed to the suite she had booked for more than a week. They had been very accommodating to her needs and she had given them an emergency contact name and number should anything happen. Better to be safe than sorry and informed them she might be in and out for a few days here and there. Everything had already been paid for so there wasn't any need to worry. She also left extensive tips to who kept her quarters clean and requested some more of the soaps she took a liking to, for the jacuzzi jet tub she was rather happy to have.

Her thoughts continued to pile on and without realizing how much she had marked herself, the pain brought on waves of nausea so there went that continuance. The object went back into the box on day six, still caked with some crimson and it was tossed in the safe in her room. As much as she had wanted to test out the pool and spa, her self inflicted wounds wouldn't allow it. She made sure to keep long sleeves or jackets on around the public, not ashamed of what she did but not really wanting anyone to call the cops in fear for her life. Day seven required a few purchases of the medical kind to keep from infections.

By the time the eighth day rolled around she had gotten a feel for the town and spent more time at restaurants talking to the staff in light yet understanding conversation. On day ten, she paid in cash for items at a well known computer store, Best Buy and a couple other choice businesses. At day twelve, she had built the devices she needed, finished fitting together the proper wires and tested out what she had made with her well over a six-hundred range IQ scaled brain. People had never known just how damn smart she was, which she preferred to keep it that way.

With more purchases than she expected and a cheap hotel room she had paid for, she went over the ten medical books she needed to, preparing for everything necessary in case of certain injuries that could be more brutal if she fell wrong. Day fourteen and with a secluded area she had set up camp in, she set it all up including the five cameras properly aimed. It was day fifteen, when the real trial began and with everything accomplished, it left her hurting far worse than she expected from the fall, which took her three hours to wake up from sobbing from the pain. This resulted in a hospital trip on day seventeen and a brief stay for two days to pop bones back in place. She didn't think she had every screamed that loud in all her life.

On day twenty, limping with crutches and a few more bandages, wraps and one ankle brace, she had gone back to a few other shops, bought more electronics and computer components which she had to have delivered due to her injuries, explaining to the clerks and owner she had been in a bad car wreck but luckily the impact hadn't been too bad. built herself a two-hundred and one game loaded system far passed anything the most brilliant of video games and game consoles making brains could possibly hope to conjure up.

When she had reached day twenty-three, she removed the chips in the system she had built to house all the voicemail messages, text messages and online ones, bringing them to the post office, first class sending all three memory cards to ship them, the three game systems she had built from scratch and two happy birthday cards filled with cash and cruise tickets for the mother and daughter to enjoy all expenses paid for by her. It was the least she could do, especially after everything the two had endured because of her genetics and background.

Day twenty-five was now marked on the calendar she had bought and with it the final touches on the one hour video were done. All time stamps had been altered, every possible trace of it disrupted. By the time it reached devices everywhere, she would have already silenced the voices she had began to hate. With the steadiest of hands, a week prior to the editing, she had performed the procedure and implanted the two chips where she needed to, making it impossible for any Martian or Telepath to read her thoughts. One quick surgical process and the tempo of her own heartbeat had been changed. No one would hear her, feel her, see her or sense her in any way anymore.

Day twenty-seven had been a little side trip to a local art store, cursing the empty shelves but luckily there was a Michaels near by. She bought a few giant sketch books, drawing pencils, oil paints, softer lead colored pencils and about thirty other things to work on what she wanted to. By the time day thirty came, she had rolled up the drawings, had the paintings framed by the wonderful geniuses at Michaels, and created her own art books, wrapping everything she had done and brought them to the post office to be shipped to five addresses on a specific date.

She was walking a little better at day thirty-two, still on crutches but took every opportunity to enjoy an arts and crafts fair, new foods she had never tried before, went to a bar and did karaoke and a rather interesting adult arcade called Dave and Busters. From day thirty-four to day thirty-eight, she chose to be lazy and enjoyed the jacuzzi tub more than she had before, soaking in epson salt to help with her sore body. She might have spoiled herself a little more than usual for a few days and bought a couple plug in video games she enjoyed and could royally kick everyone's ass with if she chose to. Tetris and Pac Man were her entertainment, that along with deliveries of pizza and Chinese food.

Checking out at the desk on day forty-six, leaving them birthday gifts and a few restaurant gift cards, she thanked the ladies at the front who complimented her on her fashionably yet sexy shorter dark red and auburn colored hair while staring into her beautiful eyes of honey brown. With that exit, she never looked back, already having sent her old clothes and precious items back home, to where only one could sign for them. With her new phone, new number, new license and a used car, she drove to her chosen destination, in her awesome Maui Jim much more tinted shades. She had hoped the caring, loving, supportive woman would unlock the door, open it and let her walk in with open arms for her. She wasn't sure what to expect, nor did she back down.

At the forty-eighth day, she sent the email out, when at a local library, to five media news networks and waited for when the feeding frenzy would start. Eleven hours later, all networks in the states, in eighty other countries in over three-thousand languages, signed and translated what had been given up without any regret of doing so. She had sent off just two personal emails, along with a separate video each, waited until they were done and changed the password deleting the fake IP address with it. Not even the emails could be traced by the best of the most gifted hackers in the world.

Her body still hurt, but it was a pain she was sure wouldn't leave anytime soon, though some of it had lessened and now she was using a cane. There wasn't any reversing what she had done, uncaring to and knowing no one else would know how. She had made sure what was now permanently attached to her brain couldn't be removed without a lethal procedure nor would anyone know she had implanted them anyway. The last thing she mailed, on day forty-seven, was to one person and one only. It was the last shred of who she used to be, sacrificing it the minute she had it sent two day shipping with no return address.

On the highway now, she turned on the radio and zeroed in on a news station, awaiting what she knew was coming, turning it up.

"_**To everyone in National City, the State of California, the United States and all over the world, I thank you for every bit of faith you've had in me, as I have in all of you now more than ever. I lost my entire world at twelve, left to suffer alone in silence for two decades and found a new world on this planet I call my home more than my first on Krypton. I can never thank you enough for everything you have done to make me feel welcome and loved, especially to my human family who I love with all of me as if they were kryptonian. That love extends to our friends, who we call family too, that I wish it hadn't come to this. **_

_**On my planet Krypton, we didn't have a yellow sun but a red one. I had no powers there, I was normal I wasn't some freak or fraud as some have called me here. I didn't have to lie to those in my heart and swore to keep safe, even from me as well as care for always. I don't expect your forgiveness, but I promise you this, that heroes don't need capes. They don't always need powers. They can be any of you, if you look inside yourselves. **_

_**In my hand, is something to give me peace, but as I said, respect this choice I make. As I load these two tubes into what you see in my hand, I will tell you a blessing of my people, an offering of my world and Rao our Kryptonian God. **_

'_**You have been the sun of our lives. **_

_**Our prayers will be the sun that lights your way on the journey home. **_

_**We will remember you in every dawn. **_

_**And await the night we join you in the sky. **_

_**Rao's will be done.'**_

_**El Mayarah. It means 'Stronger Together' and I know without a doubt, this will help you now. That is something sacred to my House. The House of El. I have never taken the time to mourn the loss of my kryptonian family and friends. I haven't let myself cry for others in my heart who I pray walk in the Light of Rao peacefully with their physical bodies gone from us. I wish I could go on, but I can't. Rao forgive me and keep everyone safe, as I let that part of me walk with you forever. Forgive me Mother on Argo. Forgive me, my only Sister. Forgive me Earth Mother. Forgive me most to my greatest Sun I lost by my own doing and cowardliness. Forgive this one personal request I wish for. Rao's..will be..ohhh that..hot. Cold...Rao's will be done." **_

_*** * "This came to us anonymously sent, no doubt by the Girl of Steel herself. There is no way to describe the terror that gripped us, at watching Supergirl fall out of the sky upon injecting something into her veins. Has Earth's Mightiest Champion left us for good? Our prayers are with you Supergirl, wherever you are out there, sent to your Rao to keep you safe. This is Megan Lumiras signing off from the Daily Planet." * ***_

* * *

She rolled up the stone drive to park in front of the house, listening to the worried shouting at no doubt the television or radio announcement, since the windows were all open to let the ocean breeze in. She didn't even bother to unpack anything in the back of her used sky blue focus, or even shut the door, removing the cane from the passenger seat when she had stepped out of the car. She let a few tears fall freely while working her way towards the entry, preparing herself for what's to come when the dark navy blue door opened and who she needed at that moment walked out in one of her comfortable long light-grey shaws, opening her arms with no judgement whatsoever. This is what she needed and without a moment to spare, she closed the distance and let that strong embrace fill every part of her mind, body and soul.

"Let's get you inside _hmm?_" She nodded, taking a few steps forward with her cane, but it was removed and an offered aid took its place. They entered the beautiful house together and once inside, she let herself be led to where both knew she needed to be most. "Have you eaten?"

"Not really. Not really hungry right now." The older woman let silence keep them a little longer, until she was finally on the floral cushioned bench, set down with ease as a kiss was given to the top of her head. She removed her sunglasses, trying to get used to the brightness once more. The view began to calm her and before long a tall glass was handed to her, not with hot tea but fresh made peach lemonade.

"You always loved it out here." She let herself be observed, then felt the movement with a comforting arm on her back. A hand ran up and down it and she wanted this contact, so happy to feel it completely. "I had to change the lights you two put up, but I found little lantern ones that seemed to fit just right." The hand never stopped, even as the woman sipped her own lemonade. "Do you remember what I said to you last year?"

"Sorta." She drank what had been given, loving the taste even more now, especially when the ice hit her tongue.

"It's part of the Mom code. When your child's in agony, you show up regardless the hour."

"I'm sorry for just dropping in like this." She put her head down, feeling bad for the intrusion.

"That's another part of the Mom job. Sometimes you just need a change in your daily routine and what better way than to help a daughter I see so much sadness in." Slowly, those warm blues were now on her face and a light chuckle made her turn her own head and face who did nothing but smile. "You changed your hair I see." The hand that had been on her back moved to her head and drug fingers through her shorter auburn hair with dark red shades, lightly fluffing it which made her smile too. "Contacts?" She _forgot about those._

"Hang on." She reached into the side pocket of her light denim jeans, taking out the little white case, opening it and bringing her fingers to her left eye first, removing the colored contact to put it in the solution. She then did the same to the right and once done, shut the case and handed it over. When she looked up, blue met blue of two different tones. The understanding mother took it and placed it on the little table beside the bench. The hand that had been in her hair came down and wrapped around her side. The invitation was given and she scooted closer to let this amazing being hold her however she wished.

"The video frightened me honey." Those five words shivered and with them she slightly trembled. "Judging by the cane, something tells me this happened much earlier. When was it made?" There was no fooling this woman and she had no reason to keep any secrets here.

"On the twentieth." She said quietly.

"So fifteen days, give or take." This place, this person and this warmth, it was all she really needed. "Your sister had called me when you hadn't shown up at her place, or yours or the DEO. She couldn't reach you. J'onn couldn't reach you. I couldn't reach you. Your friend Nia was trying to find you with her powers." She listened with eyes shut and no struggle against everything told to her. "I called Maggie and Lucy, who hadn't heard from you either. They were terrified something bad had happened to you. We all were and no one knew anything. You really scared us all sweetheart."

"_I know. I'm sorry._" She had tried not to cry, but there they were, the tears that seemed to run like rivers right down her face. "_I'm so sorry.._"

"_It's alright. I'm here. You're safe. I've got you. I've got you._" Kara really began to believe that she didn't even deserve Eliza's love, her support or to be one of her Earth mother's daughters. That's when the phone rang and somehow she already knew who it was that was calling Eliza. "I won't answer it, if you don't want me to."

"_Please...please tell her..I'm.._" The one who held her nodded, taking the cell phone out from the pocket of her shaw. The wonderful mother took the call, but never let her second daughter go, even when she answered the first one's attempt to get a hold of her.

"Hi sweetie."

"_Mom? Mom I...oh God Mom. I'm sorry. I failed her. I failed Kar and I failed you and I don't know what to do or how to find her. I don't know what she did to herself and J'onn is looking for her everywhere. I...can't find her! DAMMIT! I can't...I..Mom..where is my sister.._"

"Where are you Alex." The sniffles, the sobbing was killing her, but she let those noises inflict her soul with the pain she truly felt she deserved.

"_I'm ten minutes from your house. I...I need you to help me Mom. I don't know..I'm such a horrible sister! I didn't check on her! I didn't know anything was wrong! I was hoping..wha? Whose car is in my normal spot? Do you have company? Oh God! You aren't having a date over or..am I intruding? Mom I need to know. I will go..wait a minute. Are those suit..cases.._"

"_Alexandra,_ I want you to listen and listen well. There will be no yelling, no name calling, no tantrums of any kind. The door is unlocked. We're out on the bench. Turn off your phone and come inside." Both of them heard heavy footsteps, not even turning when who was breathing heavy, still crying and gasping all at once, came around and dropped to her knees in front of them.

"_Kara. Oh thank God. Oh thank you. Thank you._" She felt even stronger arms wrap around her and without any effort, lift her up and sit down so she was in Alex's lap and safe in her sister's arms. "_You scared me so bad sis. Ohhhh..thank God you're okay. Rao thank you. Mom thank you._" She felt those tears drop onto her face, letting her own run down once more. She stayed curled in the protective embrace, feeling herself begin to drift from exhaustion and injury, giving into what called for her and letting it wrap her up and cover her completely, with a peaceful warmth _all its own.._

* * *

She stood over who was fast asleep, no doubt in need of it by the looks of it. Hell, Alex hadn't slept very well in a while either. She wasn't even sure the last time she had gotten more than five hours of sleep, since the disappearance of her sister. Regardless, even though she knew she was alive now, restlessness had a tight grip on her. There was a war waging on inside of her and the internal struggle beckoned so many questions without enough answers to soothe her. Relief that Kara was alive filled some of the void, but the pain became her own as if she had swallowed every bit of it down. Her stomach turned and turned and took every ounce of concentration to push that nausea aside.

Quiet enough footsteps, revealed the careful approach yet just within earshot. One glance over and her mother proved how good she was at being one step if not two ahead of her most of the time now. The stomach pills were handed over, the mint iced tea too and she took it with a gentle smile. One motion of the head and she reluctantly stepped away, but not before leaning over and kissing her sister on the side of her head, whispering I love you and leaving her side of now.

The two walked down the hall and out onto the observation style deck, which she noticed the slight change in the furniture, chuckling and shaking her head when her mom closed the slide door but left the glass one open. Her eyes met the plastic tubs of their old camping stuff, glancing over to Eliza who had taken up one of the swivel rockers under the awning. She studied the sun shade, the mechanics of it and all, impressed at who had come up with such a clever design.

"You remember Bill Collison right?" She took up the other chair, turning it to face her mother.

"That I do. How's Billy doing?"

"He's got two teenagers keeping him busy now." Alex's eyes grew a tad larger at the news. "His oldest son came up with a whole line of retractable horizontal and vertical awnings. They sold some of their designs to a few bigwig companies and Bill seems to be pretty happy with his son's business smarts. They owed me an umbrella or two so Jeff and him came over to do measurements. Low and behold I had something fancy out here three days later." She whistled, obviously quite impressed by the craftsmanship.

"How did you know I wanted my campin' stuff?" Eliza's lips curled upward more while sipping her peach lemonade.

"When she wanted to be closer to the house, you two used to pitch a smaller tent out here. I might have called Jeff to pull the old bins out of the back shed and carry them up here for me, while you were passed out in the rocking chair from looking after your sister.

"Sneaky." Her smile faltered, then and there, setting the glass down letting her head sag just enough to warrant the guilt she felt from the whole ordeal. "She sent me an email earlier this morning, which I had already been on my way out here anyway. Call it a hunch or some sisterly instinct. I didn't get it until I had service and by the time I did I was an hour away from this place. It took me about thirty minutes to pull my shit together Mom. I knew that something bad had happened and the minute I heard it on the radio..._Mom..I thought.._"

"You hadn't been ready to call Bill's boys over to throw your TVs out into the ocean. I wouldn't want to pollute our beautiful waters out here though." Eliza had a good point. "You were saying you got something from your Sister?" She didn't want to, she really didn't but without fighting the inevitable, Alex reached into the side pocket of her black cargo pants, handing over her phone.

"_Are you sure?_"

"_I need to know how to help her Alex." _She took her mother's hand, that now held the phone, their gazes meeting solid and then she let go. _'Time to face this head on Danvers.'_

* * *

"Code is her Earth Birthday." Alex tried to speak firmly, failing at doing so as her mother's eyebrow came up at that. "I changed it the night after my memories came back, so I would _never_ forget that day again. _So I'd...never forget..her again._" She shut her eyes, putting her head down, ready to start crying again. She had done a decent job at lasting an hour or so, until her mom asked where to look. One instruction and already the sniffling was heard from her phone:

_*** * * Recording**_

A familiar blonde, dressed in what looked like one of her mother's shaws in the lightest of purples and blues, showed up in front of the camera, with the most incredible view before the sun had risen fully. The colors of the sky were shades nearly fluorescent amongst the blanketed clouds brushing over a canvas so breathtaking that even Kara who was sitting on the rocks had turned to gaze at what the camera caught. The waters reflected those beautiful hues with no ounce of blues in the softest of tides. When she turned back to look directly at the lens of what appeared to be a camcorder and not a phone's capture, her smile was a calm one, just like her body that seemed rather relaxed. The scratches and bruises weren't hidden, nor was the wrapped bandage around her neck. She shut her eyes taking a few deep breaths until they were just as calm as the expression on her face:

"_**Hey Sis. I chose this place because it was one of the first road trips we took together. You remember Elephant Rock right? I do. I remember the three days we spent here and when you took me out to surf in these waters away from home. Even when I struggled, I couldn't stay up and I was ready to quit, you kept trying to teach me. After a while I sat on the shore and watched you surf. You've always loved it and you are so darn good at it. Then the next day, after a fun night of roasting marshmallows and you telling me about your childhood and me teaching you some kryptonese, you had me out in the water again. You never once gave up on me and for just a few minutes, with you out there, I surfed with my Big Sister.**_

_**You have been my rock since I came here. You hated keeping secrets from me and I know sometimes you still feel like you need to, to protect me. I know when you find out what I did, you are gonna be angry at me. You are gonna hate me. You may never want to speak to me again. I didn't do this to punish you Sis. I did it because...this is my own punishment.**_

_**What no one knows, is when I was fighting the other me, I figured out I couldn't beat her. I just gave up and I knew I was probably gonna die. All I kept thinking about was that finally everyone would be free. I feel like I took over your life and ruined your dreams of who you had always wanted to be, when my cousin decided to dump me at your door. You lost your father because of my stupid powers and the minute I decided to become Supergirl the sacrifices you made nearly got you killed more than once. Because of my powers Rick kidnapped you and I almost wasn't there in time to save you. Maggie was the one, the angel that rescued you. I made it worse.**_

_**You want to be a mom, but because of who I am you aren't getting to do that. I'm not saying the DEO is bad but how much is too much Lexy? Stop. Stop, if not for me than for yourself. You almost lost everything with that blasted Mind Wipe. You were fractured and that was because of me too.**_

_**I love you Alex. You are always and forever the Big Sister I never thought I was worthy to have but was blessed when you became my world. Your Mom became mine too. You were told to protect me and that isn't something I want you to have to do, with me as Supergirl anymore.**_

_**If you are wondering why I look a little worse for wear, is because I made this on September 7th. On August 20th is when I actually made the video that I will be sending on the 24th of this month. I have already planned everything out. I'm better at it than most people know, even when I'm a clutz and a ditz. On the 25th I will be sending you this too. Only two people will get these personal messages from me. I don't want you to think this is your fault Alex. It's not Sis. I take responsibility and I hope one day you will forgive me. If for whatever reason you never want to see me again, then thank you Alex Danvers. With you, I could live and not be lost to the darkness of a dead planet. Rao, protect my Big Sis, my wonderful Earth Mom and give Alex that blessing to be the amazing mom I know she will be. Rao's will be done. You are and have always been the wings, I now give to you.**_

_**By the way, sorry for the rambling. Don't cry and just know Rao is with you now more than ever."**_

The wind picked up and what had been covering Kara was slightly lifted by the gust. More of her injuries were showing, as was the use of a cane to walk over to the camera. There were deep, closed but visible gashes that looked like self-inflicted cuts. The blonde walked over and turned off the camera, leaving a static grey then nothing but black on the screen..

_*** * * End of Recording**_

The device was set down, slid over and forgotten for a few minutes, with Eliza unsure of just what to do after watching the video on her daughter's phone. She knew it was only a matter of time before she broke down, but that need to stay strong for both her daughters became her first and only focus. Alex's fight was gone, surrendering to the floodgates of now no longer buried emotions when the tears started to pour down her face with no intention of stopping anytime soon.

'_I should have been there!'_

'_Who broke her spirit like this?'_

'_I failed her. I..failed..her. I failed!'_

'_Her secret, it did this didn't it?'_

'_I shouldn't have agreed to that stupid wipe!'_

'_Was it me that destroyed her?'_

'_Was it Lex?'_

'_Oh God. was it..Lena?'_

'_It was Lena! It all makes sense now!'_

'_She was there, when I was gone.'_

'_She was my sister's sun!'_

'_I used to be her sun.'_

'_Everyone failed her. We ALL failed her.'_

'_We all killed her. It was all of us.'_

'_Did Supergirl kill my sister?'_

'_Did...did...did Kara..want..to die…?'_

It was the last thought, that final question that tore Alex apart inside most of all, even as her thrashing and tear ridden sister tried to fight off the nightmares. She had made it to her side, but in the midst of trying to hold her, the first of so many little scars became visible to her eyes. Kara had hurt herself on purpose and even in Alex's safe and strong arms, she wasn't able to take this beautiful soul's pain away. She pulled her closer, now laying on the bed rocking her even when she rolled on her other side for Alex to be the big spoon like she always was. Every word she whispered was a promise she would _NEVER_ break again.

"_I love you Sis. I'm right here and I'm never going away again. I'll keep you safe. I'll help you heal. We're in this together. You and me. You never needed any suit or cape to be a hero Kara. You're my biggest hero of all. You saved me. Let me save you. No. I WILL save you. __**El Mayarah Kir Aoe. **__You and me sis. Stronger Together...always._"

Eliza made it into their old room, standing in the doorway as she watched them settle and drift off much more peacefully now. The cries they had heard were gone, cast away by the arms of who could protect Kara most of all. She held both her's and Alex's phones, stepping back to return to the deck and make a few calls. In her heart of hearts, somehow she knew this had changed her oldest daughter's path. Their paths, as usual, were woven together in much more different light. As Alex promised to rid Kara of her darkness, Eliza prayed that she could do the same for her. The world didn't need her daughters to carry it anymore. She would make certain of that, by doing what she does best.

The first call made was to another daughter she hadn't spoken to very much, but knew if this one conversation could help fix things and bring some form of healing, it was well worth a shot. Eliza sat back down in the chair she had occupied before, pressing on the speaker button. _Here goes nothing,_ talking into her device to issue the command.

"_Call...Maggie Sawyer.._"


	2. Desperate Measures

Alex had never been more thankful and hopeful, as she was when setting up the chat to bring everyone up to speed and ease some of their concerns, letting them all know Kara was alive and in a safe and secure place with her. Her mother's house in Midvale.

"_Thanks guys. _She's resting right now. Mom made her favorite chocolate pecan pie, but she barely even ate a slice. I appreciate the code of silence. The less people know, the better." She sighed, turning her head and listening for any movement, finding none. When her attention returned to the forty inch flat screen, she adjusted the volume of her headset, keeping her left ear clear of the conversation they were having. Her sigh grew heavier this time, which caused the others to do the same. The screen was broken into four squares, each occupied by one of her friends, her ex fiance and girlfriend.

"_Has Little Danvers said much about.._" She shook her head. "_Was it.._"

"_I don't know about you ladies, but I have a sinking suspicion it has to do with Ms. Ivory Business Bitch._"

"_Harsh Little Lane._"

"_Call me that again Sawyer and I'll have you on traffic duty in Gotham._" With one hand over the top half of her face, she shook her head at the antics of the two.

"_Not even going to attempt comprehension of this animosity you two seem to carry._"

"_Please don't psych me Doc._"

"_I take it you haven't worked through exercises to remove that tempered aggression either._"

"_Check please._" Everyone glanced to the corner of where their lenses were, focussing on Nia. "_Alex? What can we do to help._"

"I appreciate all of you taking the time to speak to me on these things. I had rejected the thought of sending you this, but...she's family to you guys and you shouldn't be kept in the dark with anything. _Mom? _What is.." Alex wasn't sure what her mother had, but when it was given to her she accepted it with confusion, especially when Eliza walked away to walk outside. "Hang on guys." In her hands, was a beautifully engraved leather portfolio journal cover with a solid blue string that had been woven around a pewter celtic button of a sun. She held it up, showing them the picture of a sunrise over an ocean and already Alex knew where this idea came from. When she set it down at the table next to her cup of coffee, she traced the etchings as if copying it to memory.

"_I've seen that artwork before. Got one of my own. It's an Oberon Design._"

"_Aaaa wha Little Lane?_"

"_One more time Sawyer. I dare you. No, Oberon is a company that makes these amazing portfolio covers, you can slip over journals or small sketchbooks. Look them up some time. Alex? What do you see." _

"_What is it Danvers?_" Slowly she unwound the string and once free, opening it to find a date marked on the first blank page under the writing.

"It says: '_Eclipsed in darkness' Aug. 4th._" Alex _knew _then what this was. "It's her diary, journal thing."

"_Alex..are you sure.._" Kelly's concerning voice triggered tears to almost escape her eyes, but she kept strong and slowly turned the pages.

"I need to know Kelly. _I have to._" She read entry after entry, partially listening to the four of them getting to know each other better. The minute she scrolled a few pages in, she stopped on the 8th, feeling her heart splitting in every possible direction. The gasp was so sharp and heavy it stopped the rest of them dead in their tracks.

"_Alex, what is it. I know that look._" Her ex had used her first name, warranting the depth of nervousness and protectiveness all in one. "_What does it say._" Alex looked away, reached for the second glass and the bottle of imported scotch, pouring herself enough to shoot down her throat in one heavy gulp. "_Danvers._" Without thinking about what she was doing, she poured herself another and this time she felt the burn of it going down. "_Alex?_"

"_Alex. Yo! It's Lane. Come on Director!_" _That did it._ It took a minute or two, before she could let the others know, but remembered her original intention, setting up what she needed to on her Macbook. "_You with us?_" She nodded, for a moment stopping what she was doing to look up at the screen and into the eyes of the four who watched her carefully, swallowing down the lump in her throat.

"I need to ask you all something, and I expect you to give me an answer from the heart, not the head. This isn't going to be easy. I'm warning you now. I can't tell you what I just read, until you watch what I'm sending you guys now. Take some time, I'm keeping this on." She took a deep breath, with the group email prepared, attaching the file and hitting send. "_Please forgive me guys._" She whispered, sitting back and shutting her eyes while holding the book of her sister's heart and soul against her own heart.

"_I just..receive..oh my God._" Already, Lucy's tone of voice had changed. When they opened it, there were a few comments, filled with more profanity than anything else. Alex could hear the message, even when played at different times. She kept her eyes shut, feeling her strength dwindling the more she heard. It wasn't just the video, but the words written in the book she held a bit tighter.

"_Oh I'm gonna..sorry guys._" The coughing wasn't heard, no doubt a mute on their end, which told her all she needed to know. All disappeared from their camera's angle and she was certain of the reason as to why. Slowly but surely, each of them returned, with one wiping their mouth and two taking sips of what looked to be lemon-lime soda of some sort. The fourth had threw four tums into her mouth and took a long gulp of ginger ale. "_Back._"

"_Here._"

"_I'm back._"

"_Confirmation of...I'm here._" There wasn't any professional tinge to her girlfriend's voice or her stature, too nauseated by what she had just watched. "_Jesus Alex._"

"_Tell us Danvers. If you don't get it out now, I might have to spend a few hours praying to the porcelain god." _Her ex barely could push her vocals any higher, not after vomiting from what she had just watched. "_Please Ally._"

"_Are you, all sure?_"

"_Yes._" They spoke as one, firm on their decision. She took what she had kept against her heart and slowly brought it away from there, looking at the written entry even when the tears began to fall down her face once again.

"It's dated, the 8th of August:

_*** * Entry**_

_**8 - 8 - 19**_

_**Day 4 - Everyone is so nice here. If only they knew the truth. They wouldn't be. I would be just another liar, a fraud, a fake. That's all I am. I am not hope. I am falsehood. A lie. Wuz. I am darkness. Dovvrosh. I am a disease. Dowahl. Not human. Not kryptonian. Dhehraogh. Lifeless. I am just like Eve. Just like Lex. They were at least better than I will ever be. I'm a monster. I'm bad. Udol. The shard of pure kryptonite hurts, but I take the pain for my deceit. These cuts will remind me of who I really am. Every symbol of Krypton's alphabet, every marking will remind me of who and what I stand for. **_

_** A liar.**_

_** Darkness.**_

_** Disease.**_

_** Lifeless..dead.**_

_** Monster. Nothing but bad. Evil.**_

_**I never deserved a title of a name like my Cousin's. He's the hero. I'm just a monster. She never should have given me that suit. I was meant to go. Meant to free everyone of the sins of a family and free them of me destroying their lives. Reign should have killed me. Rao bring her back just to eradicate me from the Earth. I never deserved this planet. I never deserved anything. As much as it hurts, I'll cut this last one in, deeper than any other. Vrrosh. Phantom Zone. That's where Rao should send me. I should have stayed there. Kara Zor-El is a monster. Kara Danvers is a lie. Supergirl is a disease. I'm none of them. Vrrosh, take me away and let everyone live without giving anymore to something false and fake. I'll go back to the bar late tonight. I'm getting better at blowing out my useless powers anyway. Those men can do whatever. I don't care. I must be what the books call a masochist. What they did to me last night didn't hurt after a while. They said I've got a velvet throat, whatever that means. They hurt me but I don't care. They can hurt me again. I won't wear anything under my clothes tonight. I'm sure if Lena saw this, saw me for what I really am, she'd pay them to hurt me. They should be paid. I've got money. They can have it. Just hurt me. It's what I deserve. It's punishment. That's all I should get. Punishment. Once I use the right chemical kryptonite and rid myself of these screwed up powers, I'll go back to the bar. They can have me for good then. I'll be the trash I really am. Sam deserved to live. I didn't. I'm getting better at ignoring my hunger. Let me live to suffer Rao. Death is too kind. Maybe once I'm stripped of that life I once was born from, I'll be put in a cage for anyone to use. **_

_**\- - - K_**_

'_**In the light of Rao, let the last of Krypton within me walk with you.'**_

_*** * * End of Entry**_

* * *

The moment the last of the those written words were spoken, for a date that tore at each of their souls in ways they never could have imagined, all that was left was utter silence between them. Alex found the will, some kind of movement and slowly lifted her head to the screen. She didn't need to see her reflection to know how powerful the tears were that she shed. Hers were not the only ones falling, seeing the rivers of torment and cruelty by the powerful entry her sister had captured with a dark blue roller ball pen. When Alex noticed the tears had fallen on the page, she had noticed that prior tears had met this document. Given the pattern, she already could picture when Kara's hands touched this journal and wrote this entry in heavy sobs. Certain words were shaky when jotted down, evident in the strokes of ink and how they tattered.

"_How many Alex._" Everyone wasn't sure if she heard it right, but it was repeated a different way. "_How many entries Alex._" This upset, the sniffles and the shivers when she spoke had her eyes looking over at the bottom left square, directly into her girlfriend's eyes.

"_There are...jesus._" She turned page after page after page, stopping at the 15th entry, noticing how scribbled, like shorthand almost, that date and everything of it was on the page. There were tear stains, droplets of crimson and with the realization of what that meant, she turned to the next page and automatically her stomach revolted.

"_Danvers?_" Sawyer's voice was heard, as the others called her too, searching for her on their own screens. "_Ally, talk to us._" They were muffled, the minute she had hit her knees and clenched to the metal can for dear life. Everything she had consumed, food or drink, expelled from her body and into the only thing she could get her hands on to catch what could no longer be held in. Before she knew it, she was dry heaving some and slowly she sat back up, carefully climbing onto the chair and back into their view.

"_Alex._" The voice, it sounded much closer than the ones saying her name over and over in any way they could. Her vision felt blurry, but she fought to regain its strength and that's when the gentlest of touches was upon her face. A hand took her by the chin, lifting her head as gradually as they could. "_Alex._"

"_How the...isn't that.._"

"_That's Dreamer! How is she there?_"

"_Nia? Nia you awake?_"

"_Alex._ _Your body is wavering. You're pushing it too much._" She looked into the warm honey brown hues of Dreamer's who took off the mask and set it down on the table by the journal. She wasn't sure when her friend had knelt down, but they were eye level and it spoke to how deeply Nia was trying to reach her and pull her back from a darkness threatening to keep her prisoner. "_Alex. __**Zhed Tuhlem Rrip Bem Zhed Divi. Bem Zhed Raogrhys.**_"

"_**Bem Zhed Raogrhys.**_"

"_That's right. Be her strength. __**Bem Zhed Divi. **__Be her light. __**Zhed Tuhlem..**__You need to.._"

"_I need...need to be her light. Her strength. You're right Nia. Help me. __**Vokai Khap Voikir Zhed. **__Help me save her Dreamer. Help me save her._" Alex felt the hero's forehead against her own, until who was before her faded, eliciting a gasp from the screen. "_Nia?_"

"_Yo Little Dream! Talk to us!_"

"_Do you give everyone a 'Little' nickname?_"

"_Ya back with us?_" Nia nodded, allowing Alex to release the breath she hadn't even been aware she was holding. Once their eyes met, the loudest of bangs on the door brought her girlfriend's head turning to where the knocks were coming from. "_Alex?_" Kelly looked into the lens, requesting permission before approaching who kept obsessively slamming their fist against the slab.

"_Who the fu.._"

"_Pipe it. Dreamer?_"

"_I'm good. Tell me if you need me to astral there Kelly._"

"Go ahead baby. We are all gonna keep.._who the fuck is.._" Dr. Olsen looked into the lens with a calm controlled purpose none of them had seen her show before. It was time to take charge for once here..

* * *

"I'm going to blackout my screen, so no one can see who is on it. Everyone set on mute?" They all gave a thumbs up. "_Hang on!_" She turned the massive flat screen monitor and nodded, flicking the hidden camera on tucked away in the farthest corner at the wall where the fireplace resided.

The minute she looked through the peephole, two things rushed through her that she hadn't expected right off the bat with just one little glance. On instinct, she opened the little drawer on the table by the door, pulling out the weapon and tucking it in the back of her pants, dropping her army t-shirt over it to conceal what she had. Two locks undone, along with the upper deadbolt, a deep breath with a calm demeanor and she turned the knob to open the door, surprised at the reaction. She didn't expect to be practically shoved out of the way, turning quickly to face who had slammed their black leather shoulder bag down a bit harder than one should. "_Well _I'm so glad I sent that invitation Ms. Luthor. Do make yourself at home."

"_Spare _the dramatics Dr. Olsen. _Where is she. I guess_ she hasn't told you either huh? _Shame. _Danvers make _excellent _liars." Kelly observed the disheveled irate businesswoman, in no way put together as usual. "_No? No answer? Wonderful._" Lena's body held nothing but tension, strain and fury. Every movement was laced with an overwhelming anger and upset she was attempting to decode. "So pretty _bitch _Danvers left you to what? Cook dinner?"

"I am putting up with this aggressive behavior to appease to your temperament, but I will not stand idle and take this verbal offensiveness from you." Kelly's muscles began to tighten in the rise of retaliation, doing her best to keep herself in check. "_What. Is it. That. You. Want._"

"_What do I want? _I have a _DARLING _answer for you." The Luthor's hand reached into the rather large black shoulder bag and with this motion, Dr. Olsen couldn't help but bring a hand around her back and slip it under the shirt, tracing the grip with her fingertips. That's when something red, blue and rather familiar was yanked right out and clenched like it was nothing but trash. "_THIS is NO gift! This is a cop out! What she did is NOTHING but a cowardly way of not facing me! I had this DELIVERED..at..MY..WORK! I get this BULLSHIT tape of how sorry she was and how she HATED lying to me! OH...how it was for my OWN good and it was her way of PROTECTING ME! You know...it's funny._"

Kelly couldn't help it, keeping a hand on the gun, seeing shake after shake of a garment that is to be a _Symbol of Hope! _Here she was, thrashing it around like it was dirty laundry. "_..it really is. The one..ONE _person that chooses to befriend me, is the _biggest _hypocrite of all! _This?_" The hand came up and with it, Kelly knew everyone could see the symbol clear as day. "_Oh sorry. I kinda...LOST it. _I'm not sure when my _Ulysses' Saber _replica decided to _unsheathe_ itself. _Maybe_ it was because of that _S. _I never really cared for the _Southern _end of things and looking at that giant letter..._the rage just...overtook me._"

Every movement, every violent shake of the suit in this unhinged woman's hand and her patience and temper were wearing thin. "_That little feed?_" Lena stopped, stepping closer to her and on some bit of rational perspective, she removed the hand from her back, relaxing it at her side. "_Pathetic. I don't care where she is. I really don't. I had ONE friend and she was NOTHING but a phony! THAT's the letter that should be on this ridiculous repulsive thing. An F! Fraud. Fake. False. Fool. Failure. Oh no...FABULIST! Well guess what? FUCK HER!_"

What had been in the woman's hand was thrown like trash to the floor at her feet. "My Brother, who _by the way...I killed, _well his portal shit worked great. I was ready and of course he chooses _THAT _moment to tell me who she is. Every possible bit of footage he had to throw it in my face. So it looks like that _F _she had _burned _into me from the start. _Fool. _Her little private apology and _woe is me _is just _another _version of the _Cowardly Kara! Is THAT even her real name? Who knows! This.._" A high heel came down hard and smashed the symbol as deep into the floor as Lena could. "_That S? _That stands for _SELFISH! That's what she is._ Instead of giving me an explanation to my face, she took the _selfish..CADMUS way out! _I guess now people can go back to relying on _REAL _people to help them. _Not LIARS. Not CHEATS. Not FAKES! _Not _OTHER _planet's wannabe _saviors _of the world! I _HATE _this _S. _I hate everything it stands for. Lillian isn't even my _real _mother and she was right! _How about that! _If your little _fuck _buddy's _fake_ sister is really alive, tell her hate is a gift. _NOT some putrid costume._"

"_Are you done?_" The stoic mask fell and with it the most ominous of smirks had revealed itself. "_Are you?_" The minute one nod was given and Lena went to retrieve her back, Kelly clicked her tongue, which brought the bitch turning to face her once more. With a fist flung at full force, that connected with the side of business woman's head, there was nothing she could grab onto fast enough to keep her on her feet. She went down hard and Kelly bent her elbow, tilting her head to study a couple of her now bleeding knuckles. She picked up the hideous bag of the Luthor's and threw it out the door, then grabbed the bitch by the jacket and shirt, yanked her up and practically launched her towards where her bag had spilled all its contents out.

"_I'm gonna..sue.._" Kelly ignored it, snatching up her phone and making one simple call, awaiting the man to pick up.

"_Hi J'onn! Can you do me a favor? I have some waste outside Alex's abode._" She slammed the front door shut, locking everything up and the minute she secured the second deadbolt she heard his voice and smiled. Her candid curse words were music to Kelly's ears. "_Thanks J'onn._"

"_You got MY vote Little Olsen._" She narrowed her eyes at the screen.

"_Alex?_" Their attention reigned in on who was in a full blown anxiety stricken breakdown. "_Alex?_"

"_How fast...can you guys get..here._"

"_I'll grab Sawyer. Doc can you take Nia?_"

"_We're here Danvers. We're here._"

Their voices helped some, but after witnessing her little sister's so called _BEST friend _do what she did and say what she said, Alex was done. She muttered off directions, thanking her ex who knew the way and took over the Mapquest mode of things. It was then she attempted to get up and grab a bottle of water from the fridge, gasping at who was on the floor.

"_KARA!_" She dove down, forgoing the pain that came with hitting her knees the way she did, reaching out and tugging her sister into her lap and that's when she saw the kryptonian glyphs, reading them and remembering what the entry in the journal had said. This broken fallen angel had branded reminders onto the skin of her left and right arms, that no ounce of yellow sunlight could remove.

"_We're on our way Alex._" They spoke together.

"_Hang on Danvers' Girls._"

"_Stay with us Kara. It's Luce. I'm coming. We're coming sweetie._"

"_I'm gonna bring Nia Kara. I know you barely know me, but you are MY Little Sister now. I'm gonna be with you every step of the way._"

"_Kara. __**Kara Zor-El. Rrip Lim Uwedh Ahv. **__You hear me? You still have your wings. You will...you will fly again. Please..please don't fall anymore. I won't let you. WE..we won't let you fall anymore. You are safe with us. So hang on. Hang on Kara. Hang on my hero._"

"_Hurry._" She was barely able to get out, rocking her sister with her head tucked under Alex' chin. She let the tears cascade down and drop on this beautiful being that touched her heart in a way no other could. "_Don't give up Kar..__**Kir Aoe..**__don't give up._" '_Please stay with me Kara. I can't..I can't lose you again. I'm not leaving. More family is coming.' _Alex wasn't even sure if she was speaking it to her sister or inside her own head to will it into Kara's own. It didn't matter though. She _wasn't _alone. _They..were NOT alone this time. Never again. Never..alone..again.._

* * *

"_Ha ha. Smoothe Sis._" Alex basked in this, laying in their little tent out on the deck, a giant foam cushion under the floor of it and twelve pillows to add to the comfort. Kara lay against her while they played Connect Four, with her slightly winning. _Slightly. _That was until the last drop and Alex nailed a double, giving a little snicker and getting slightly elbowed in retaliation.

It had been three days. Her girlfriend and Nia, who definitely earned their spot in this Super family, were inside with her mom and _already _the baby books had been brought out. '_Thanks Mom.' _Before taking the trip, already packed and ready to head out, Dreamer had spoken to Brainy, her boyfriend, asking if there was anything that brought Kara some form of comfort besides Alex. He had told her about the Mind Palace, the first time they met, and she had her answer because of that knowledge now. So when Kelly and her showed up, it was with their luggage left in the car, flowers in one hand and a little black kitten with a pretty purple velvet bow in her own.

"_Ohhhh no! No no don't.._" The auburn redhead laughed when _Streaky _scattered the Connect chips. She set the game off to the side, opening the flap up adjusting the lanterns Lucy had found on hers and Maggie's drive over. They were authentic at best, hurricane style oil burn lanterns, in a dark bronze. They had even found ten extra wicks and two containers of kerosene, per lantern of the four the two bought, to keep the Danvers sisters covered for a while. Her ex and the Major, slash prior DEO Director, had gone by a giant camping store and picked up two other tents, sleeping bags and the goods to make a ton of smores. "He's _lucky_ he's a kitten."

"A _cute _kitten." She watched her sister, hating the scars this selfless hero had to bear. Instead of dwelling on things, she kept an arm around who laughed and attempted to purr like the little jet black _purr-ball _in her gentle arms. The petting stopped, as did both their movements, upon hearing the debate on _how _to pitch a tent. "It sounds _serious _down there." She chuckled. "Do you need to rescue the tent?"

"_Tempting. _No, I'm sure Mom will intervene. If she doesn't in the next twenty, then I will."

"I feel bad for the tent." When her sister's head came back, those crisp blues were looking up at her face. "_Alex?_" She brought her own head down, with brown meeting a tad bit of shaky ceruleans. "Do you _hate_ me?" Her gaze widened, frustration evident in her features, holding her sister a little bit tighter.

"I could _NEVER _hate you Kar. Am I angry? _Yes_. But there is _never EVER _hate in my heart at you. _Ever_."

"_Yo Lane! Stick it! Not my fault you can't get it up right._" Both sisters facepalmed at the conversation that seemed to take on a _whole _other meaning than what it should.

"_Hey Lex._"

"_Hmm?_"

"Is this _bedroom _talk?" She had to put her head up to hide the expression.

"_Don't you know how to pound it right? Let me show you how it's done. I guess you've never handled something this size._"

"_No comment._" Alex spoke, but thanked the ladies too. The distractions were perfect, as was the company. She also knew this was her sister's way of deflecting.

"_Ohhhh my. Alright ladies. Let me show you how this wise woman works._" Both sisters made eye contact at one another instantly, thinking the same thing.

"_No comment._"

* * *

Everyone down below laughed, providing just the right environment, even as they heard the other vehicle approach. On cue, Nia came out to switch places with her, another of many appreciated feats.

"Hi Nia!" She kissed the top of her sister's head, whispering that she would be back.

"Who was winning?" She asked, taking a seat after jacking one of the pillows from the tent to sit on. With her auburn hair blowing a bit, she lifted her hand and pointed towards the door with a thumb. There was a smile though, bringing her own out to play. "Wanna try your hand against me."

"You play here before?" Nia noticed something off immediately, but chose not to show it in front of her best friend.

"Nope." She popped the P. "Do you mind teaching me?" This girl's smile could light up the darkest of skies with that.

"Only you can play the oldies station a little higher?" Nia leaned back, slightly laying down to reach where the shorter cord radio was plugged in, turning up the volume some. Her mistake was how she had sat down when attempting to meet the request. Then a hand came out and she grabbed it, feeling herself slightly pulled up, but noticing the strain on the kryptonian's face.

"Thanks Kara. I got it, the rest of the way." She laughed, adjusting her legs from sitting indian style. _Apparently _it was time to start stretching more, maybe taking up running again. "Alright. OH, I brought out some sodas for us." Nia handed Kara her favorite Hawaiian Punch flavor and cracked her own, seeing that struggle again. "_Here._" She slipped enough of her finger under the tab to crack the second can. Once more that smile showed itself.

"_Be right back guys!_" She slipped back into the house and headed to the front door, opening it. The softest of expressions had been worn by someone she wanted to knock out more than once. She actually remembered doing so after the Mind Wipe cleared more. The fancy suit, tactical gear and anything else that showed a bit of authority was gone. This was Lauren, not Colonel Haley at all.

"Hi Alex." A relaxed white shirt, a little tan vest folded over, open and just as loose, lighter denim and beautiful dangling gold earrings. The smile was genuine, the hand out just as much. Alex took it, shook it, then pulled her towards her and hugged her soundly. "Guess this makes up for you decking me." The hug was reciprocated, then broken for her to nod. "How is she?"

"Come in Lauren." Just as the woman entered the foyer, her mom came over with a slight stern expression. Alex knew what her mom was doing.

"Colonel Haley! What a surprise indeed." Eliza's gaze flicked over to her and she gave a cheeky grin. "Can I get you some iced tea? Lemonade? All fresh and in three flavors. The _kids _are out in the back. She couldn't help it when the snort came out. "Alexandra." The glare would actually make agents quake in their boots. Not her mother unfortunately, who went from stoic faced, to a huge smile in a matter of seconds. "I'll leave you two to chat." Alex turned to study Lauren's rather nervous face.

"At ease Colonel. I _know. I know. _She scares the shit out of me too. Come on. I've got an office down the hall, so we will have some privacy to talk." Her former pain in the ass followed where she led, no doubt moving a bit slower to catch every photo of some rather _embarrassing _moments. The minute they were in, she left the door open just a crack behind them, offering the sofa while she took the gloriously soon to be confiscated desk chair. When she turned it, Alex took the smaller photo album, personal to her sister and her, giving it to Lauren to look at. _This was it. There was no turning back now.._

* * *

"What_ is..this_ Alex?" She watched every bit of the expression, the body language and tone, keeping vigilant of who was in her personal space and for that matter her childhood home. The minute it was opened, the Colonel noticed the writing on the inside, running one fingertip over the glyphs. "_What...are these?_"

"It says Sisters Forever. It's in kryptonese." Lauren's head shot up, eyes meeting hers. "This is from when she came to live with us, after I quit being a hateful little brat to her and we became each other's lifeline. I gave her the dish on everything, not to mention the good food she grew up gorging on." She chuckled at the memories. "I showed her another world, _and..she.._she taught me the language of her people. I learned about what happened to her home, her family and friends. The first night I began to understand what happened, there was a huge storm. The thunder and lightning reminded her of Krypton's demise, and it had her rocking in the corner in tears. That was the moment I became her Big Sister. I helped calm her down and she told me about when she watched, trapped in a pod as her entire planet burned to nothing and exploded before her scared sad and broken eyes. Flip the page Lauren. See four yourself."

When the Colonel did so, her own eyes widened from shock. On the left side was the two sisters at the beach, no glasses on the face of a girl with her long blonde hair down and a smile that relaxed her entire body completely. On the right was Supergirl and Alex at that same beach, the same smile and same goofy pose. "When you found out, we had your mind wiped from the memory. But when the Truth Seeker wasn't taken away, J'onn had to wipe my memories of her. _I was fractured _Lauren. There were so many things missing and I wasn't able to find the pieces of the picture I needed to see." Brown eyes shivered, meeting her lighter browns.

She couldn't stop her hands from shaking at the image she tried so damn hard to push out of her head. In a last ditch effort, Alex shut her eyes putting her head back, but the tears still escaped. "I found them fighting, the Red Daughter and her. Every strike against her, the memories were thrown forward and it wasn't until the last.._the last..hit.._"

She couldn't stop the emotions that bubbled to the surface, trembling like her voice was. "She quit breathing. Her heart stopped. _My sister she..she died._" She found the strength to lower her head and open her watery eyes full of tears, noticing Lauren crying too. "Somehow she pulled the sunlight from the ground, plants and it was._.beautiful. _When Lex tried to kill her, Red Daughter saved her. She was actually a part of Kara, that was split from her when she stopped Reign. She didn't know at first why there was a carbon copy of her, that damn bastard warped into a killer and weapon. In the end it was Supergirl..it was _my sister.._that saved us all. _Again._"

"Alex, oh..I'm.." She shook her head, placing a hand on the one holding the album.

"You didn't do this Lauren. This was some twisted mind fuck of orders from monsters that we were all fooled by. It wasn't you."

"I understand why you didn't tell me now. I'm sorry you had to have your memories wiped. I know you will continue to stop these apologies but it feels right to give them. Accept them please." She nodded, taking her hand away and wiping her eyes which the Colonel did as well, then grabbed her phone, scrolling to the pictures she took of some of the journal entries. She tapped on one of them, she felt the need to share with this woman. Lauren took the device, looking at the picture.

_*** * * Journal Entry**_

_**B - Z1 - I9**_

_**Everthing hurts. I don know that I read en ough things Zto get right settin bones. Bones they hurt lot. Think I disloicated sum thing s. Shoulda paid more tention when Lex y showed me. I cant stan d. Cant scream. Had 2 crawl 2o get Z tent. Leena dsnt half to worry bout my god complex ne more. N0w cant listen 2 her hart beat. Alex gon na be mad. Guess Lena nd Alex will both hate me n0w. I i hate me. I hate Superrgirl. I killed sumone after all. Need fo I need fo get cal ;l 9 - 1 1 . L exy nee ed no coma promnised sis,**_

_**op- K ara**_

_*** * * End of Entry**_

"_Oh my god._" She had a hand partially over her mouth, unable to shake what her eyes had just read. The phone had long since hit the floor, the minute the last words were seen. When Lauren looked up, Alex had already noticed how much she was trembling. "_When was.._"

"The day after she shot the video that everyone and their mother saw on the news. She did this _LONG _before we all got it. The day after she injected what mutated her kryptonian solar cells, making it impossible for the yellow sun to heal her, or for her to get her powers back for good. It turned her _weaker_ than a human." Her jaw tensed, hands closing into tight fists, uncaring that who was in front of her saw. "You want to know where she got that _fucked up _drug?"

"_Tell me._" Alex let every ounce of hatred and rage envelop her eyes, her face, her entire body and being. She wasn't the only one feeling it now.

"_Lena..Luthor's..Lab._ She made it _AFTER_ the defeat of the World Killers. It's really _fucked_ up to think about actually. She _made _Supergirl the suit that saved her life from the kryptonite poisoning in the air. Then she made _synthetic, gold..kryptonite._ I checked the kryptonian archives and found out about it. Kara never had access to it. But Lex? Lex knew all of her cousin's secrets and about the fortress that belongs to Superman. Kara was going to tell her best friend who she was but Lex beat her to it. _THAT's _what _sent MY Sister _away for forty-nine days!"

"_Technically Director.._" Alex had already began to center herself at Colonel Haley's tone. "Supergirl is who has saved Earth and everyone on it. She is National City's Angel and furthermore who kept my daughter's school from a much worse explosion. She put her cape around her and two of her classmates to protect them from falling debris, not letting one single candle of life be snuffed out that day. "She saved three presidents and never once killed anyone on purpose. So, _Director Danvers, _the little L-Corp CEO created a chemical weapon that could be used against a _US _Citizen! A bio-hazardous _LETHAL _virus was created. Her chemicals, her equipment and every other company that has to do with any weaponry, not authorized by anyone in the Department of Defense will be seized and she will be charged."

"I could _kiss _you right now." Lauren smirked, with them both hearing two clearings of throats.

"Yo Danvers, your girl here might not appreciate that. Can I arrest the bitch?"

"A Military Branch will do so. This is a threat to National Security, America and other countries. We will keep the NCPD and DEO on standby but I would prefer you stay out of a possible crossfire. I doubt _that_ Luthor will go down without a fight."

Someone whistled from down the hall and who had been with their fallen hero, keeping her company and covered her once she fell asleep in the tent, signed something to Maggie, disappearing back upstairs to the deck.

"Nia said she's out again. Want me to go check on Little Danvers?"

"_WE..all..will._" She stood up, motioning Lauren to go with them. "I need to speak to you about a different matter later on. Lucy Lane is here and she's grilling the best chicken, fish, burgers and steaks that we get out here. I'd like you to stay if you don't mind some grub and a little R&R for a night."

"I'd be honored to." The Colonel shook both their hands and they warned her about what would be seen.

"_Can I get your digits in case I get into a jam in Gotham?_" They all smiled, with Alex slapping her ex on the shoulder. She needed that reassurance and once her sister was checked on one more time, the conversation Lauren and her would throw a wrench into everything going forth. _She had enough. _Her family at the DEO knew this and things had to change in order for that agency to run smoothly how it should again. This would be one of the hardest decisions of her life to make, but her sister was more important as was the family she had brought into her own. _**El Mayarah **__would be getting a whole new meaning by midnight.._


	3. With Utmost Uncertainty

_*** * * Journal Entry**_

_**SPT For**_

_**I like paint. Elephant rock sunrises + sunsets for alex. might not have got her bored write. I hope I did. I feel bad sad broke that. Maybe I can pain her a new won. I got get wright material stuff. Miss my sis. Keli makes her feel now. She can have a. Want to sis yeah mom with her. I wonder how winn is. Miss him much. I hope uh he comes home. Where did he live? I'm have trouble on midval ad dress. Gotta ask sissy. Heads been hurting. Number memory hurts? I can't uh. Drawing blanks. On sketch drawbook too. Gotta call sis. Call maggie for little danv What she call me? Alex. May be call ms luther. Wheres the phone? I lost it. Shit. Tell help mom. Help. Got too get mail t office post. Oh yeah! Tar that store had pacman. What is that game had blocks? Sissy liked that. She beat me all that time. What time was that? Hard to right that write thing. Gotta lay down. **_

_*** * * End of Entry**_

She put her head back, pushing it against the beach towel under her, creating something akin to a head rest in the sand. The journal, open and laying on her chest face down, was that painful reminder of just how much her sister had suffered in silence and it was killing Alex more and more with every entry she read. It wasn't just the writing, which had gone from elegant, to cursive to upper caps, block, missing numbers or using too many, lower case or almost chicken scratch. There were inconsistent gaps, slurs, forgetfulness and it dawned on Danvers just what this implied. Her memory was in shambles, her motor skills were fractured, her speech distorted, her nightmares worsening and anxiety skyrocketing into full blown panic attacks.

"_Oh Kar.._" She shut her eyes, unable to find the will to wish the tears away. Instead they rolled down in a way it almost felt like each streak took a chunk of her strength with it. "_What have I..done.._" A movement in the sand to her side forced her climb out of whatever cage she'd been trapped in. Her chestnut brown hues slipped to the slide, with an unexplained shock reverberating through her entire body. "_Sa...Sam?_"

"_Hey Alex._" The gorgeous brunette took a seat beside her, after laying one of the four towels she took from the beach sack by the cooler. Sam gave the softest of smiles, but worry etched her face easily. "I already met your mom and your girlfriend Kelly. She's beautiful and really good for you Alex. A gentle soul that one. I saw your sister, said hello. She cut and colored her hair I see." Alex dug deep and forced herself upright, unable to stop the woman from grabbing the journal from where it had sat on her chest. Before she could say a word, Sam closed it and set it down on her towel, looking out at the waves across from them. "I take it that's her diary of the events?" One brief point to the object and all she could do was nod. "It's bad isn't it?"

"_Who called.._" _Had she called her? Who did?_

"Believe it or not, Jessica from L-Corp." _Now _Alex was utterly confused. "I guess a certain Major and Detective approached her four days ago. So dear sweet Jess gave me a ring. I had left my number and email with her, unbeknownst to the Boss of that company. Turns out, she quit and didn't even tell Lena. She dropped her resignation on the desk and never returned. We went phone shopping and since I make a pretty penny, I put her on my plan." She wasn't sure when her jaw hit the sand, uncaring at the realization the last person at the bitch's corner was off the court for good. "I need to give you my new number while I think about it. _Alex..it was..was my hands that.._"

"_No. That _was Reign's doing, _not _yours. _But Sam..I'm sorry I couldn't tell you_." Arias shook her head, putting a hand on her arm in a comforting gesture. Alex looked out at the waves with her friend.

"Don't worry about that at all Alex. You were protecting her. She didn't know?"

"Nope."

"So all this time, through the what three years she's known her, she didn't know."

"No. _Which probably.._" Sam cut her off.

"That's _NO _excuse for the bullshit card she played Alex and you know it." So this pal of dear Lady Luthor had bailed completely? Oh this morning was getting _better and better. _"So it's true she made something that could _kill _Supergirl and Superman." She sighed, still in disbelief herself. "Where's your gun? _I'm shooting the cunt._" Sam was just as pissed as her. _Good._

"At ease Arias. We can go crossfire afterwards." Alex shut her eyes, shaking her head and slipped the journal into her hands, handing it over to Sam. "Fair warning Sam. It's not pretty in the least." The former CEO of L-Corp took what was offered, looking in her eyes, before opening it up with all attention now on the pages, making one last comment before taking in what was written in the numerous pages.

"That game was awesome. Ruby broke mine at six." Alex studied, unable to keep from doing so, every bit of Sam's body, waiting for those reactions that she knew would hit worse than any tidal wave coming into the cove. Just like clockwork, hazel green eyes widened by what she was reading and already the beginning of tears began to form. "_Oh my god._" A hand came up to Sam's face, practically covering a gaping mouth, stumped and unconsciously trembling by everything taken into her mind. "_Alex.._"

"I honestly don't know what to do Sam. _I..really don't._" The journal was set back down, eyes wiped, along with the rest of Arias' face, at a loss for words just as Alex felt after reading just a fraction of her sister's tattered mind, heart, body and soul. "_Wait...if you're here.._"

"Ruby's with her girlfriend in San Diego." Her own eyes grew a little larger. "_Yeah. _She's driving too. _Scary_ thing really. She has a different phone number and we deleted our old emails. Jessica works for me now, by the way, in case you were wondering."

"_Is anyone else.._"

"Nia was on video call with Catherine Grant before I came out here. Ms. Grant has contacted this Andrea Rojas person that took over CATCO. Andrea has agreed to give back the media company to her and offered any assistance we need with this matter. She's not thrilled with '_Prim and Proper'_ either."

"Oh Colonel Lauren Haley, well _former _Colonel, now _acting _Interim Secretary of Alien Affairs has been a huge help. Just don't ask about it right now, it's a long story for later after a few hard alcohol shots. Lauren will come by later and give her..._take _on it all too. She's working her own end of things with all branches of the military on a mission to drop a lawful hello, including charges of a threat to the people and national security by the bio-hazardous inventions all created by that Ivory Heartless Queen."

"Nia is a very kind person. She should work on not sitting around in her costume without that bandit mask though. So she's transgender? Could have fooled me, but it doesn't bother me one bit. I have a couple of coworkers that are and Dreamer inspires them not to feel ashamed of that." Alex facepalmed at the stupidity of Dreamer's choice of attire here. "Her secret is safe too Alex relax. After everything your sister did for me..for my daughter.." The conflict was evident in Sam's face, as if she felt responsible for all of this. "After..everything _you _did for Ruby. _Even when.._"

"_Sam, it's not your fault._"

"She _knows_ that." Both of them heard the commotion, glancing over with two walking up to Sam and her. "Kelly is working with Little Danvers, hoping to help her on that psychological end of things. Yo Arias, I heard you were out here. I hadn't got to give an official hello yet." Alex watched who had been keeping her company stand up and reach a hand out to shake her ex's.

"Nia?" Dreamer, in regular clothing, not pastels either, sat down while Maggie pulled Sam aside. "Nothing?"

"Ms. Grant says hello. No. Brainy and I have tried different forms of mediation. I've even worked with J'onn. _Nothing. _Did you find anything in that.._book?_" Alex looked away, ignoring the wretched thing at her side. "I wish there was something wise I could say. I wish I had a magical fix for this Alex. I don't know that her journal is helping at all or hindering."

"_Me too. Not sure honestly._"

"I spoke to Lucy today. She said everyone misses you and they say hello and hope Kara will be okay. Are you going to still train new agents?" Alex watched Sam running after Maggie, then shove her into the sand. _Apparently, _they needed to blow off some steam.

"I don't know. I _really _don't. Lauren understands where I'm coming from and I can run seminars and training exercises down here for newbies of the DEO and other agencies to break in fresh victims I mean..._eh em em.._" She smirked, clearing her throat sarcastically. "..new recruits in the methods that make most of the agents I _did_ train still quiver in fear. I've also got funding to expand my mom's lab close to this place, where down the road there is a small beach house with three bedrooms Kelly and I have already scoped out." She told her.

"You would _leave _National City?"

"I would and honestly so would Kelly. She's always wanted to counsel teens and young adults, which she could do here. There's only two psychologist offices close by, within a thirty minute radius, so she'd be set. My mom and I could work together, _for once, _in a lab to do some good in the fields I have under my belt. My PhD in Bioengineering, partnered with all my expert knowledge on alien physiology works in my favor here too. This place is less chaotic and my focus can go to providing solutions instead of running around with a giant target on my back."

"So.." Nia knew how devoted Alex was, which she didn't back down from what was coming next. "..you're _really _done there?" She nodded, just as both sand covered women dusting themselves off.

"What you two chattin 'bout Danvers?" She did a once over at the two disheveled messes before them. "Don't _even _say what you're thinking." Maggie's glance to Sam, returned with a shrug until they studied their appearances shivering. Both tried to pretend the little scuffle didn't affect them, but Alex saw _right _through that easily. When more towels were lain down, they took a seat by her and Nia. "Did I hear this right? You.._quit?_"

"_Yep._" Her ex let the news sink in, still registering a decision she probably never expected her to make freely. "This whole ordeal is just too much Sawyer. Kelly knows the guilt that is ripping me apart little by little every moment I look at the struggles my sister had to face and takes on even now. I was able to get ahold of the medical reports." She dropped her head, one fist clenching tightly to the towel underneath her. "Two campers found her unconscious by a bathroom at the campgrounds. They called 911. She was brought to the nearest hospital and somehow came to just as two nurses were going to call both of her emergency contacts. I was the first contact. _Guess.._"

Alex lifted her head slowly, jaw clenched and immediately seething again from last night. It didn't go unnoticed by the three with her. ".._who _was the other."

"_That...bitch._" Maggie wanted her turn sooner rather than later and she knew it was the first thing on her mind at the moment.

"She convinced them not to call either us." They had to put her under to reset fourteen bones. She sustained a severe blow to her head, resulting in what they believe to be a TBI. Her right foot was broken badly, so they had to fuse it. Her back was badly bruised. They think she tried to fix things herself by the bruises to her shoulders more than five places on her body. Thanks to modern medicine and procedures, she talked them into releasing her two days after. They gave five different referrals to different specialists, not to mention a physical therapist, psychologist and psychiatrist. They believed it to be a miracle that she sounded as intelligent and mentally put together as she was. She was released on crutches but told to take it easy for a few weeks."

"Alex?" She looked over at Sam. "When did she go to the hospital?" Her reluctance showed, but still she opened the journal, searching through it, then stopping and setting it back down to reach for her phone. Once more, the journal was open, to compare what had been written. She found H under the twenty-second and twenty-third.

"The twenty-first. Why?"

"She sent me and Ruby this hand built game system, with like two hundred games and two controlers. It had '_Arias Duo' _and a dash with the letter of her first name, with another dash on the top of the system. It was silver and it had a HUGE hello and heartfelt message on load up. There was also two Happy Birthday cards, three-hundred dollars in cash in each and she gave us two ten day cruise tickets." Nia's eyes had widened, Maggie's face held shock and her confusion showed in spades. The date on it was twenty-seventh of August."

"_Seven days after she.._" Something wasn't adding up, unless her coherency had triggered back to its norm, then regressed afterwards.

"Kryptonians were light years ahead of Earth in technology, medicine and several other fields."

"So _beyond _geniuses." Nia commented.

"Yeah. You've noticed the difference in her right? Her speech, her actions and such, yes?"

"I have. _It's NOT good._" Alex looked at Maggie, then at Sam.

"She's weaker than all of us, even Mom. J'onn can't read her mind. We have someone you _wouldn't_ expect coming in to help us Sawyer." She saw the Detective trying to ponder what she meant, already gaging the reaction to come. "Gayle." The gasp was quickly heard.

"_Are you NUTS?!_ Don't you remember what she did to your sister in the bank vault?"

"My sister also gave her kindness, even after everything. She could have killer her, but she didn't. Gayle saved her up at Fort Rozz, and in turn she brought her comfort even when returned to her cell. Oh, she's not coming alone." Sawyer breathed a sigh of relief. "Four DEO agents are coming with her and she's wearing the dampening headband." Alex was about to continue, interrupted by her phone ringing, picking it up immediately after noticing who was calling. "_Mom?_"

"_Alex, J'onn arrived and transformed in front of her! She tried to get away! She's huddled in the corner in tears and shaking. She didn't recognize.._" '_Shit..'_ She jumped up, snatching the journal and making a beeline for the house.

"Tell J'onn to back away slowly. Tell Kelly to run upstairs and grab the box under my bed. Bring it down and give it to Kara. It's _our _box. I've got Maggie, Nia and Sam with me. We're _almost_ there." Alex hung up, trying not to cry from the nagging thought in the forefront of her thoughts.

"_Alex?_" Two of them said with heavier breaths from running with her.

"_She doesn't.._" Nia seemed to be on the same page as her, which she nodded acknowledging what Dreamer was about to say.

"_..know..about aliens.._" _Things just went from bad...to worse.._

* * *

**_\- Author's Note:_**

**_** This section I just added, is a rather personal one to me. Surviving after an 85ft fall, after 19 surgeries and dozens of procedures, but am somehow able to walk even with a fused foot, I have been left with a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). This effects my memory, retaining information and such. So many people have called me Supergirl for my strength and yearn to protect and help everyone I meet. This story is different from any other I have written. Some touch on things here but not like this. When I write the stories I do, it is for all of you to get away from those everyday troubles, but also to know that no matter what you face, you are never alone. Find that inner strength and rise with it. A little message, from me to you._**

**_\- ChEsHiRe (Enigmea)_**

* * *

They all sat around the makeshift campfire, watching, observing and doing their very best to keep her comfortable. Alex leaned against one of the bigger logs, with one arm out to roast a marshmallow with her sister, the other wrapped around the auburn and red haired woman's waist in a protective fashion they all understood. Almost four hours is what it took to bring Kara back to a calm and collected state enough for them to continue their plans for a little outdoor adventure.

"Do you think she will remember any of it?" Lauren wasn't one to show such emotion, but watching the fragility before her eyes, she couldn't help but feel partially responsible for everything that happened.

"Until we run the right tests, it's hard to give a more definitive number for this. I wish there was some simple fix here. I don't want to _ever_ witness this kind of turmoil again if I have any say in the matter. Alex will do what she does best, which is to protect her sister with everything she has." Eliza told the woman, with their eyes falling on the group.

"Hey Luce? Can we have that open pack of graham crackers?" The new Director did so, lightly kicking the Detective next to her as she pointed to the hershey's candies. An unopened candy bar was tossed Alex's way. She smiled, offering it to her sister, who opened it up and shared with her for the finishing touches with their s'mores. "Doubling up Sis?" Kara's head came back against her shoulder, offering a view of a bright smile and a nod. She chuckled at her, taking a bite of the s'more made for her.

"Little Danvers knows how to stack em." Alex glanced over to her side and smirked while taking a bite. She loved the fact that Kara had really warmed up to Kelly. It meant the world to them both for her to be so comfortable with her girlfriend. It was quite amusing though to see her ex and Lane bantering as playfully as they were.

"I do believe, Madam Detective needs to share the sweets." Sam gave a cheeky grin, only to have a piece of chocolate unwrapped already thrown at her face and somehow it was caught by the mouth. She purred and Lucy nearly choked on her s'more.

"_Mmmm..._cookies n' cream hersheys." Everyone's heads turned, causing Nia to gulp heavily then scoot the box over that she had of different chocolate bars, including some bought for good causes outside the market close to the house. Kelly whistled to Maggie who was closest to the box, pointing to the dark chocolate one. It was tossed her way and Alex called dibs on the hershey's reese's one, sticking her tongue out jokingly when her sister asked for the crunch bar. Nia got up to hand it to her best friend, who despite the changes, was _still _her hero. Sam pointed to the caramel one, thanking her with a kind smile.

"I, unfortunately, have to get back to my duties." Lauren informed them all, shaking Eliza's hand and thanking her for the hospitality, then walking over to the Danvers sisters to kneel down. Eye level with Kara, she reached out and took her by the chin, providing the Girl of Steel one of the warmest smiles she had ever shown anyone other than her daughter. "You are one of the most bravest, kindest, humble and endearing people I have ever met. I am honored to have met you. Anything you need, any of you, do not hesitate to ask." Her smile spoke volumes to how much she appreciated what Haley had said to her. Lauren brought her gaze up to Alex, mouthing '_anything you need. I'm here.'_ She nodded and with her final words, she took her leave.

"_Don't mind if...we join you, do you?_" Two blondes strolled over, all smiles with one's lips curved more in a smirk. Alex happened to look over and noticed Maggie, Sam and Lucy practically drooling. Nia was the only one not scoping the two out. Even her sister had a curious yet interested look on her face. Kelly's hand on her belt loop, curled tighter suddenly. She shook her head when the Director and Detective got up to introduce themselves. "So _you're _the one." The first blonde's attention zeroed in on Sawyer, who suddenly looked a little nervous. Sam found a major liking to this gorgeous blonde already.

"Nice to see you two again." The second blonde took a seat by Kelly, shaking her hand firm enough but still respectively.

"_At ease. _I'm here, for _her._" Alex knew they would need all the help that they could get, even when icy blues looked into her sister's warmer blues, then met her chestnut hues. "_Took a side trip._" That cocky smile brought one to her own. _Beautiful.._

_*** * * Previous Night**_

"Ms. Luthor will see you now." The secretary seemed kind enough, but her demeanor spoke to the judge of character she easily picked up. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" She listened for the response, smiling at the answer given.

"_No need. Thank you Mara._" She looked over, nodding to her supposed little sister, that gave a little grin, continuing to play on her tablet. The moment they entered, she stopped to motion the other blonde out, but this raven haired beauty waved it off and pointed somewhat to the black sofa. "_You_ must be Ms. Cane."

"Ms. Luthor. That is my younger sister Felicia. She's a tad shy." Their blues met briefly and like clockwork this boss walked over and introduced herself. "Don't mind her rudeness. She's obsessed with that Crush game."

"Pleasure to meet you Felicia. What level are you at, if you don't mind me asking."

"Like something over three-thou. I have a friend that just hit two-thousand so it's kinda a bit of a competition. You don't mind me sitting here do you?" This dark haired demon sure played this nice card rather well. _Two-faced indeed._

"I'm impressed. You're fine if you don't mind a bit of company chatter."

"_Not.._" Her lighter blue eyes slid right into kryptonite emerald ones smiling with clear intent.

"..at." The moment the CEO turned, the cream colored jacket had dropped and her famous batons were already in both hands. She waited until her target's gaze flicked down, sliding her eyes to the left some.

"_..all._" Foolishly and perfectly timed, the woman looked back.

"_What are.._" A drop down, then quick slide of one's foot and off did their prey's balance go. Before she could find her footing, Two calculated shoves and dodged blocks brought the Luthor falling to the floor and more so on her back. "_Who a.._" Her batons were already connected, slapping one of the ends right under Ms. Business' chin. She drug the tip down, keeping it right at the throat, not daring to move it at all. One word had been attempted, so she pushed down with the slightest of pressures.

"_Well…_" Her supposed sister saw the glint, kicking what looked like a gun of sorts away from the three of them. "Now _that _wasn't very nice." Attention went back on the tablet, with a shriek of glee. "_Ohhhh YES!_" She licked her lips, glancing over just as the other blonde finished the level she was on. The minute one little box came up on the tablet, to get to the next level, every light went off along with _all _electronics of any kind. "_Oops._"

"Sorry about that." She drug the tip of her staff to the side of Ms. Luthor's face, slapping it against a temple and with the impact, the poor sweet CEO lost consciousness almost instantly. "_Damn. _That wasn't even a worthy workout." She separated her batons, slipping them behind her and clicking them in place on the cross strap at her back. She picked up her jacket, just as the glass was dropped with about two inches of the woman's choice of liquor spilling with it by her motionless frame. "Shall we? I'd like to make it to that restaurant we saw downtown."

"Sure." Both women exitted leaving a trail of unconscious security and leftover employees for certain night shifts. All computers were met with pink screens and yellow bubbles that floated around on the monitors, cell phones, tablets and laptops. All cameras were shut off, leaving no trace of their visit behind. "_Mission accomplished?_"

"I would say so. Let's eat, I'm _starving _already.."

_*** * * Back to the Campfire..**_

"_Sooo...Ms. Lara S Cane?_" Alex could kiss this woman, _again, _and _hell _it looked like Kelly would too. That image wouldn't leave, knowing it might be a kink dream for later requiring utmost focus of the battery kind. Not right now. "_Clever._"

"So was implementing level three-thousand into tiny bubbles of Candy Crush characters and a pink background that flows like water. _Oh.._and the '_Neuroticfish' _song."

"_Damn Felicia! To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time.._" She watched her ex fiance high five the tech genius, well genius all in all.

"_..and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats, and they're coming to take me away haha._ It's _Felicity, _by the way_. _Sara thought it would be more fun to anagram our names. It was far too tempting not to."

"_Well played._" Sam chuckled, offering a s'more to the beautiful blonde genius, who took it with a wink of thanks.

"_Hey ladies._" White Canary whispered, pointing to one curled and sleeping in Alex's arms. "We will stay as long as you need us. Felicity can help with the tests and I promise you Danvers, we won't stop until we figure this out alright?"

"You have _no _idea what this means you two." The Captain held out her hands, leaning over and slipping arms under her sister.

"Let me hold her for a while Alex. Get some grub and some rest. You need it, since I can see the bags under your eyes. Rest assured, she's safe with me."

"Thanks Sara. Thank you Felicity." Kelly helped Alex up, both of them retreating to a smaller more private tent.

"Please protect her Ms. Lance." Nia spoke softly, bending down to kiss her best friend on the top of the head. Lucy did the same. Sam rose, repeating what both had done, whispering something akin to a prayer in Kara's ear.

"I will stay in the house. I think it would be best to have someone in their for Eliza, just in case."

"I agree." Sara lifted one arm up, waving to the woman she knew could see her hand.

"You don't mind me staying out here with you, do you." Both heard the door shut, concluding Eliza was taking her leave as well to get some shut eye. The second time it was heard, they knew it was Sam's doing. Sara tilted her head, turning it slightly with a confident smug grin.

"Not at all." The Detective was clever, but _so_ was White Canary.

"_Tapped..didn't you?_" Sara's smile grew with an answer all it's own..

* * *

Maggie couldn't help but laugh some at the confirmation, shaking her head. She lowered her own head some, softly dragging fingers through short auburn and red haired strands. Felicity came back over, tablet and small device in hand. "What's _that _for?"

"Smoak here, is the _best _of _any _of our crews when it comes to computers, programs and mainframes of all kinds. Let's just say she could turn something as simple as a blender into a Transformer robot. _Ready?_" She took a deep breath, shut her eyes and let the device's laser run over Kara and her.

"All done." Sara opened her eyes, checking on the still slumbering form of the kryptonian. Maggie took a seat beside Felicity, obviously curious as to what she was doing, with the scanning tool plugged in to the other end of the cord. "I also have quite the extensive knowledge in biochemistry. Hence why I asked Sara if I could tag along. She believes I can figure out what's wrong with her. I'm just waiting for the scans to show up here."

"If you agree she is the best you guys got, then I'm all for backing your plays. _Soooo.._what exactly.._did _you do that had Danvers lighting up like it's Christmas and her birthday wrapped together?" Both blondes smirked, not even aware a few heads had popped out of the tents.

"Besides the nightmares of floating cartoons and quite disturbing 'Fish on repeat? Just shut down every system she has access to. I also re-routed every penny in hers or any other Luthor's name to Russia and a few other investors of the criminal kind. Not to mention started a program that will connect any cell phone in the building to old Cadmus files. I gathered they had been a royal pain in everyone's backend. Oh and by tomorrow, probably when the stock market opens, this so called L-Corp company will be a little over three-billion dollars in the hole." The smiles all around were evident, widening Felicity's and her own.

"I just knocked her off her ass, taught her how much pressure should be applied with a bo staff and left her a nice bruise on the side of her face. Oh, and rubbed something on her throat with the tip of my skilled stick, which would _completely_ erase about ten hours of memory. She won't remember us, nor anything else for probably more than ten hours and we cancelled all her subscriptions from here to Hong Kong."

"I could _seriously _kiss you _BOTH _right now."

"She's married to my ex. I'm actually in a relationship and before you inquire anymore dear _Detective Margarita Sawyer.._" Sara grabbed the stunning little thing by her shirt yanking her closer, crashing her lips against the woman's then breaking the contact right after swiping her tongue over Maggie's, whose mouth had been wide open from the news. She extended her arm, letting go of the Detective's shirt, hearing a chuckle from Felicity. "...I was her _first _and _ONLY_ one night stand." Sara patted her shirt, then returned attention back to the shifting kryptonian against her.

"_She.._" Her ice blues met shaky chocolate ones. "She's _my..Little Danvers. _I may have not married her sister, but she's _always _gonna be _Little Danvers._"

"We _saw _the videos. _Including _the one to Ms. _NOT _so rich anymore." Sara studied her face, most of all her eyes. "I take it none of you have seen it?"

"_Load it._" None of them could react fast enough, not when a royally pissed of Alex Danvers had stormed over. "_Load. It._" There was no use arguing with the former Director, that both Sara and Maggie dared not to attempt. Felicity swallowed down the lump in her throat, doing so on the tablet, but pointing to her black backpack. Alex snatched up the one she wanted and handed it over.

"Who can handle her strength among you."

"I can." Nia walks over, leaving Kelly nervously with Lucy. "Are those headphones?"

"I keep a few pairs just in case. I made em. You _don't _wanna know how long of a range the bluetooth is on these or you might be ordering them in bulk from me." Sara continued to comfort her friend and furthermore family. They might be from all different places in the universe, but she considered Kara someone she would gladly lay down her life for. "We won't leave her side Alex."

"Thank you. _Both of you._ The fact you guys jumped Earths for us.."

"We would do it again, in an instant." Sara knew Felicity was about to stop the agent, lightly smacking the back of her leg. Her friend sat back down. They watched Nia and Alex walk away, with Felicity's tablet, the case of ear pieces and noticed the alien gun in Maggie's hand. Unable to sleep. Kelly and Lucy joined them, with gazes watching the two disappear down a path that one of them knew since the sisters were younger.

"_What Alex..what Nia will watch..it won't be easy._ _Not in the least.._"

_*** * * Recording**_

_**8/19**_

In a light pair of jeans, a silky orchid purple thin strapped tank and hair partially down, she sat in a chair overlooking the water some, reaching out to adjust the camera's angle. Not even chickening out, she took a deep breath and reached up to remove the sunglasses she was wearing. Her hair band was next, pulled free and with it long blond strands fell over bruised shoulders. When cerulean eyes focused back on the lens, those warm hues seemed almost dulled in grays compared to what they usually were. Two deep cuts were on her cheek, along with rather visible cuts all over her arms. The markings on her arms, similar to runes, had a feel to them which was far too embedded deeply in memory.

"_**Hi Lena." **_Another clearing of the throat, this time followed by a rough cough. "_**I know I don't deserve any ounce of forgiveness from you. I know I can't turn back time and undo the damage I caused. Just another liar and traitor in your life, which I tried not to be. I won't sit here and justify the reason for not telling you. I could say it was for your safety, which is partially true. Above all else, it was a chance to be just human with you. I will never forget what I've done to you. These will remind me of each and every wrong I have done by you. They won't go away. Ever."**_

With tears leaking from her worn eyes, she lifted her arm, until it was completely in view. The first she pointed to, she did with a slight shutter, barely touching that set of glyphs but with the brush, she threw back her head in pain. The still bloody set of carvings, tinged with the faintest of green glows with it. "_**I am no God. I am nothing of eternal life. I am Dhehraogh. Lifeless. Dead. So many see me as this beacon of light. No. You are right Lena. I am not good. I am darkness. Dovrrosh. No God. Nothing. I poisoned your life. I'm nothing but a Dowahl." **_Another strip of glyphs, these far more angry in their infliction. "_**Dowah. Disease." **_

She set her arm down, leaning over and retrieving a small silver case, looking down with nothing but shame all over her bruised face. Still not lifting her gaze, there were three snapping sounds, almost as if a locked briefcase was being opened. She wiped her tears away and slowly lifted her eyes until she was looking directly into the camera. "_**I know to ask you to forgive me for any of this Lena, is pointless. I need to confess one more thing before I lose the courage to. I took something from the computer we found, where Lex had stolen your digital files after Eve hacked into your system. I looked over each folder until I ran across this one file, labeled 'MorningStar'. I don't know what made me open this one, if it was the name or...but I remembered a book you once told me about. The author was the password. When it opened, I wanted to cry. I wanted to run, fly as fast as I could and scream out because of what I saw. Then I thought about what this could do for everyone if I ever got, that so called 'God Complex' you accused Supergirl of, me of. I read through everything, which..I have an idyllic memory. I guess I should tell you that too. Confess yet another thing I kept from my best friend. So I went to your lab and I found it, where you had the location in the file, locked away and I was surprised when the combination number had been the day we met. Your biggest secret, you chose me to keep it safe."**_

Her hand came into view, open and with her palm up, a silver object became visible. She rolled it to the ends of her fingers, showing what was in it. A black substance, filled with tiny flecks of glowing red and glistening gold could be seen by the camera. That object went away, a heavy sigh was heard and then another item was between her fingers. A glowing green shard was wrapped by what looked to be a silver metal of some sort. "_**This..this is a reminder to what I've done to you Lee. I know it's wrong of me to say it, but thank you for treating me human. Tomorrow, I become one for good. At least physically. As for the rest, it doesn't matter. Not when I lost you. I don't want to be Supergirl or Super anything now. It's not worth it. There are real heroes out there. My tape will be a reminder to people of that.**_

She tilted her head back, leaning back and sighing letting whatever tears were there come down. "_**My genius will give me one last peace, before I plunge myself into night for good. I've read everything I could get my hands on, Earth and Krypton knowledge combined. I'll be putting a chip in my head, so my thoughts will never be read. I've already implanted a device that creates a different heartbeat tune. Those tempos, those beautiful sounds of life, just as I did with Alex all my life here, I did the same with you. Your heartbeats, those beautiful sounds, I listened to for my own little peace. I know that none of this makes up for what I did. I just want you to hear it from me, in case I don't make it through tomorrow. By the Light of Rao Nahkluv. That is thank you in Kryptonese. Please do not be upset with them. I take this, all of it. I deserve this. Please be well. I love you Lee. I'm sorry. Forgive them. Rao, Skulir Vahsah Zhed. Watch over her. Watch over them all. Rao Zhalish Khap. Forgive me. Rth..Earth, Zhalish Khap. Goodbye Lena. Rao will be done."**_

She leaned forward, hand coming over the lens, whispering once more the request of forgiveness. Darkness took over then.

_*** * * End of Recording**_

Everyone looked up, even the now awake and startled short auburn haired one shaking in Sara's arms, the moment their ears were filled with the screams of utter agony that seemed to come right out of the depths of Alex's entire being. Those sounds continued, but the words that were heard weren't English at all. It was kryptonese and every other word, Rao was called for.

_Her sister may have fallen that night, but Alex? Alex had followed her into the darkness after all.._

* * *

"_Mara.._" Nothing but darker cream colored ceiling with a bit darker molding was visible at the moment. No lighting hung there, only within the corners of the vast master bedroom distinctly placed, yet dim for the moment. Every bit of grogginess, irritation, relentless migraine filled temperament made up the exhausted tones to her voice. "_Cancel everything. Reschedule the meetings. Just reschedule the whole day._" With closed eyes once more, she basked in the emptiness, just as every fiber of her being felt pathetically.

"_Right away Ms. Luthor._" Once the brief orders were given, she swiped to end the conversation then practically slammed her phone face down on the breakfast bed tray where two prescriptions, a bottle of water, room temperature coffee and a small bottle of scotch whisky half drunk were. One press on a remote with her other hand and she let the recording play where she had paused it, without any ounce of bravery to look. If that made her a coward, then so be it.

_*** * * Continued Recording**_

_**_"..this is a reminder to what I've done to you Lee. I know it's wrong of me to say it, but thank you for treating me human. Tomorrow, I become one for good. At least physically. As for the rest, it doesn't matter. Not when I lost you. I don't want to be Supergirl or Super anything now. It's not worth it."_**_

_*** * * Paused**_

She kept her eyes shut, doing her damnedest to not permit the tiniest sliver of emotion at the chords to a far too familiar voice. _Who was she kidding though._ That sorrow, guilt and regret laced the tones and stubbornly she fought to let those words affect her. Not even realizing the twitch in her fingers, what she had been watching hat been rewound so much it almost restarted it from the very beginning. Unaware, she pressed play again and this time, a single tear rolled down the side of her face

_*** * * Previous Recording**_

"_**I am nothing of eternal life. I am Dhehraogh. Lifeless. Dead. So many see me as this beacon of light. No. You are right Lena. I am not good. I am darkness. Dovrrosh. No God. Nothing. I poisoned your life. I'm nothing but a Dowahl. Dowah. Disease."**_

_*** * * Paused**_

She couldn't take anymore, tossing the remote away with a trembling hand. The shakes ran up her arm, to her shoulder and gradually took over her entire body. There wasn't any wishing them away, nor the attempt to stop a second tear then another until she couldn't help but cry. Every locked and cold demeanor shattered on the whim of uncaged emotions. Trying to shove it back into a damn box was pointless and she rolled onto her stomach pounding her clenched fists against the mattress and cursed mumbling between tears into the covers.

In no way was she aware of another presence in the room, until she heard a tapping on her bedroom floor three feet from the end of her bed, on instinct she quickly rolled to the side, reaching out to her nightstand drawer, but her uninvited company pressed something against it blocking that attempt. She wasn't a fool, reaching under and retrieving the firearm from the mounted holster no one could see, rolling onto her back and aiming the gun at the intruder. Her eyes widened when the bottom of her hand was kicked and the firearm flung up into the air. One quick shot slammed and pinned it against the wall behind her, with an arrow sticking out and the gun dangling from it by the hook that housed the trigger.

"_Who the FUCK are you!_ Get the _fuck..OUT!_" The red and black suited archer, pulled down the hood, removing the mask across her eye line. Hazel green orbs locked to her emeralds, as a warning to make no other move. "_Fine. _What do you want?"

"_What..do I want?_" This stunning woman brought that curiosity out in her, amongst other things. However, when the remote was slapped into the air only to be caught, she pressed down on the rewind, waiting a couple seconds then hit play and listened to what was said.

*** * * Confessions**

_**_"I know I can't turn back time and undo the damage I caused. Just another liar and traitor in your life, which I tried not to be. I won't sit here and justify the reason for not telling you. I could say it was for your safety, which is partially true. Above all else, it was a chance to be just human with you. I will never forget what I've done to you. These will remind me of each and every wrong I have done by you. They won't go away. Ever."**_

_*** * * Recording Shut Off**_

"_What. Do. You. Want._ If you're looking for that slight tinge of an apology then you can go fuck yourself and get the _hell _out of here! I will not explain myself to the likes of you. If this is some half-cocked way to get me to feel sorry for her than you've wasted your time."

"She's caused herself dysarthria. Her memory is in shambles. She can't remember she's kryptonian. She's terrified of her alien friends. Her muscles have weakened tremendously. She scrambles words involuntarily when she's speaking. She can't even open a fucking soda you damn _stubborn, arrogant, self-centered, cold-hearted, riched up, egotystical bitch._" She didn't even bother arguing or throwing her two cents in, not even when nastily spit on all over her face. "_Go ahead!_ _Live!_ Live in your own, wealthy _lonely _hell."

She watched, frozen for some reason, as this woman walked around, grabbed the arrow and yanked it out of the wall. The minute she did, the gun dropped and fell behind the bed. She was spit at once more at her face, then the woman turned around and walked away. Just as she did so, every light went off, leaving the room in total darkness. Two heavy thumps were heard, all the lights went back on instantly and with the power returned, the TV flipped on. On the screen was the best friend she once had, once believed in and trusted. It was yet another bit of news about Supergirl's end.

_*** * * News Feed**_

"_**_Forgive me Mother on Argo. Forgive me, my only Sister. Forgive me Earth Mother. Forgive me most to my greatest Sun I lost by my own doing and cowardness. Forgive this one personal request I wish for_"**_

"_**Once we had learned the truth of Supergirl's origin, I do have to say personally for me, how did she do it? How did she bring hope after everything she had been through? All these questions, I know everyone has and I think we all wish there had been something we could have said or done, to stop her from what she chose to do. To me, I don't think this was a decision based on selfishness. She has given so much, saved so many and offered everything. We took her for granted, not considering all the pressure we put on her shoulders. I miss her. I miss that blue and red streak through the sky. I miss her smile and more importantly the HOPE that she gave to us all.**_

_**I know many want to know who she is. Ben Lockwood attempted that and the former President enforced the demand. Now that we are aware of her other life with an Earth family here and friends who no doubt know her for the incredible person she is, let us offer you prayers of hope in return, wherever you are. This is Leanna Olenzo, signing off. Goodnight."**_

_*** * * End of Feed**_

"_Oh..Kara..what have I done.._" She fell forward, face down on the bed, kicking the tray away as everything scattered on the floor. Every emotion she had attempted to lock away and bury, came spilling out with no possible option to seal them anymore. Lena broke down, then and there, for the friend that had always believed in her and in return she destroyed. For the foolishness of her actions and every manipulation of and like the rest of the wretched Luthor family. She screamed for the one who had just visited with news she never expected to hear, to come back and end her life for the life she had taken and stole from this Earth. The tears wouldn't stop tonight and after ten minutes, she had no strength left to remain conscious. Between the booze, lack of food, muscle relaxers and depression meds, it all came toppling down when she had been told what she had. If Krypton's _Rao _was listening, give back the light to her best friend and he could have her miserable soul. Lena didn't want this life anymore. Not without Kara Danvers, who had unlocked and awakened that beating heart inside her again. What had she done? She _ripped _right out, her greatest hero's own. "_Rao..heal her and give her back it all. Give her back everything I have taken from her. My life for hers. I belong in darkness. Sentence me. For you Kara, may Rao sentence me.._"


	4. Reverse This Affliction

"_Again._" She growled from the ground, easily flipping herself up back onto her feet. When her opponent crooked a finger at her. There were no more cocky, confident to overconfident, snark remarks, only seriousness which the other woman picked up on instantly. Even out of their normal fighting attire, to which she kept her damn black suit for a reason, it was nice just to get out of that shit for a while. Still, the blonde had brought them both black karate gi pants forgoing the tops for their own tanks to make things easier. Luckily, they both fit essentially the same tight size in pants. Where she wore the darkest of reds, the other chose a navy blue one. It seemed they were on the same page with the color choices.

"_Remember, I'm your assailant. NOT your friend. _Or have you _FORGOTTEN _that bit of information! Guess you _lack _rules _don't you. No wonder you were always.._" The words were enough as she ran towards the blonde, this time ducking out of the way before the back swing with that arm could hit her, diving between it and the knee that would have connected with her gut. She rolled when hitting the ground, twisted and flipped back up, barely in time to dodge the roundhouse but not enough time for the arm that slammed down on her back. "_Come on kid. That was sloppy._"

"_How bout THIS then._" She shifted her footing, flipped her supposed assailant off and thus started their sparring once more.

"Not gonna lie. That's _hot._" Maggie handed Lucy a mug, to which she thanked her for. "Two rich creamers, two hazelnut ones, two sugars, one spoonful of your espresso crap..which I kinda had one too and _damn, _then mixed this strong shit thoroughly."

"I see she's flirting through hot steamy liquids again." Sam smirked, putting her hand to the side as Thea and her fist bumped. They both sipped hot tea, while studying the form of both fighters. "How long have they been at this?"

"Three hours, between water and pissing breaks." Their newest guest told them. "Sara was one of the ones who trained me, along with my brother and a couple others of the packs." She took another sip with a heavy sigh then lowered the mug from her lips. "Nia is with her. Kelly went to go pick up Alex's extensive '_noms' _order. She practically bought out all the snacks they had as kids. Anything I guess that made her sister smile. She's pretty good against an assassin." Both the Detective and Director nearly choked on their drinks. Sam was right there with them, staring at the blonde with a gaping mouth. "You didn't know?"

"That detail hadn't been quite mentioned no. So she banged a hot '_Assassin's Creamy dressed Creed.' Damn Danvers. I'm so proud._" Maggie smirked, returning to her overpowering mega caffeinated coffee.

"That would explain the methods and moves. I was curious what training she had." Lucy chimed in.

"I take it Eliza and Felicity are at her lab." Sam nodded in response to Thea's inquiring. They watched as Alex howled out and began to aggressively strike at Sara. "She's letting her rage lead her movements."

"Is Lance letting her?"

"She is. She wants her to get everything out of her system. White Canary is trying to get her to break. It's the way she was trained. Discipline through forceful measure. Sara was trained by Nyssa al Ghul, the former leader of the League of Assassins. They were lovers too." Thea explained, knowing they were hanging onto every word, even when Sara walked up with an exhausted and almost unconscious Alex in her arms. The assassin took a seat and held her friend while who she considered a little sister told the story, nodding as an okay to do so, noticing the former Director's head coming up some on her shoulder listening too. "Before she joined the League, Nyssa found her practically lifeless, so near death it terrified her. She knew that Sara had all but given up, wanted to die and end her existence entirely. She carried her away, nursed her back to health and in doing so my big sister found purpose. She chose to become a part of Nyssa's world, but never relinquished what al Ghul's father wanted her to. There was a code, to which you have to fully renounce your past life, but Sara never did that."

"_I didn't._" Sara spoke softly, running a hand up and down Alex's back, smiling to Kelly who had just arrived and took a seat beside them. "I wanted to though, in some ways. Nyssa gave me more than purpose. She loved me, as I did her. I think I always will. When I begin to falter, lose myself or feel that darkness, I think of her and everything I learned from her. So I see where.." One of their phones rang, to which it was answered with wide eyes at who _exactly _was on the other line. It was quickly put on speaker, but not before a finger came up to her lips to make sure everyone stayed quiet.

"What can I do you for." The heavy sobbing caught them all off guard.

"_Please...please tell me she's okay. Tell me she's alive. Oh god if she...if she is..just tell me she is. I know everyone hates me and I hope they do. I hate myself and everything I said and did. She never deserved that. I never should have let him get to me like that. I felt betrayed and lied to by everyone. I didn't understand. I should have just shut the hell up and listened instead of being JUST like him. I should have shot him in the balls too. At least make him bleed out instead of giving him a quick fucking death. I just need to know she's alive. That red suited person was right. Tell Alex, if you hear from her...tell her I'll surrender. Tell her she can do whatever she wants to me. I deserve whatever wrath she wants to use on me. Tell...no. She never wants to hear from me again. I lost the person I was closest to. I pushed her away. I did this. Everyone lost Supergirl because I couldn't pull my head out of my fucking Luthor acting ass and just BE who she always believed me to be. I...I'm sorry for calling you Detective._"

"_What do you want then._" Maggie looked at her, not even attempting to stop the Director. "Why did you _really_ call."

"_To make sure...I don't want her to die. Is that you Lucy?_"

"That's Director Lane to you."

"_Director? As in..DEO Director? Oh god. Oh no. No...is..is Alex okay? That was the worst question fuck. Is Alex with her? If she is...I..my apologies don't mean shit to her I know. Look, I need you to give her a message. I need you to know what Kara took from my lab wasn't the one she was looking for. You need to know! I changed out everything after that bastard and Eve broke in! I forgot about the damn codes. I thought she didn't know about that one. Dammit, Lex changed it out! When I got the message from her, I didn't think about it because I was too damn furious! When that red suited woman left and I...I went to check, I found the one I had made. She TOOK what Lex made! There was a small trace of it in there. Look...I need to know where to send an email, fax, SOMETHING to Alex. He added two more substances to it! Look, Detective, if you know what the drug Vertigo is, it was in there. Apace too. GET this to Alex..PLEASE. Just..if you don't believe me, I'm sending tests that can be done. Tell her I've scrambled the coordinates of where she did it. I'll bet there is SOMETHING out there. Please Lucy, Maggie. If she and all of you hate me or want me dead. Do it. I prayed to Rao after the red suit left. I prayed to him, take my life and give her back her's. I lost the one person I loved the most. She was wrong Detective. I'm not good. I ruined that. Lex destroyed me. I destroyed her. So final wish please. Save her._"

"I'll send you a text _with _an email. _If...you are playing us.._"

"_I'd rather die. Save her. Save her and if you can...take her memories of me. She deserves a life without me in it. I..I'm so...sooo sorry Kara. Darling forget me. Forget me Kara Danvers. Forget me Kara Zor-El. Forget this darkness. May Rao heal you Kara. I love you. Goodbye Kara._"

"_Luthor?_" The call had ended, with everyone including Alex too stunned by what was said by the person they all wanted dead, but had been crying through every single thing said. "_What in the hell was.._"

"I say _guilt._" Kelly practically growled, holding one of her girlfriend's hands.

"I don't know." Thea spoke up. "She thought I left, but I hadn't. I had slipped back in, listened and watched from the partially open door. She was in shambles. Distraught and broken. I'm not condoning her actions so let me clear that up right now. If I have learned anything from Oliver and Sara, it's to see the whole picture. Is she guilty? Yes. Is this guilt? _I don't know. _Send her a text Maggie. It can't hurt now. It _really _can't."

"Alright. Danvers?" Alex looked at her ex, noticing the seriousness, but it wasn't just that. _It was fear._ That feeling ran both ways and she slightly brought her head up and down. "Here we go." Her eyes caught Maggie's hand movements, knowing she was texting the woman everything she needed. Once done, after it was sent, a few them pulled up chairs to look out at the waves. A couple familiar noises caught their attention, watching when both Nia and Kara came out.

"Hey sis." She slipped off Sara's lap, let Kelly's hand go and stood up to greet her sister who had resorted back to the cane. Alex smiled, whistled and then scooped her little sister up to carry her out to one of the two lounge chairs facing the water. "You good?"

"_Good._" She giggled, getting comfortable in one as Alex took the other after scooting it over some. "Gonna surf today?"

"_Naaaah. _I figured we could set up the new pantries with all our fave snacks." Kara's head turned, with the biggest brightest smile on her face and Alex was so grateful the cuts and bruises were almost gone. Just a few small ones remained but the color was back in her face and those blues were warm and much more alive again. She looked happy and it brought so much relief to her after everything that had happened. "I couldn't find the marshmallow cake thingies though."

"That's okay." Her sister turned her body some and looked back at the group on the ground level deck. "Gonna join us?" With a bunch of grins and a snatch of the stacked sky blue adirondack chairs, they made their way over with Sam carrying the giant Rubbermaid tub over with some cushions for them.

"Hey, let's grab the goods and fill the cooler." Lucy smiled, motioning for Sam to help. Kelly plopped next to Alex and Maggie sat beside Kara. Nia somewhat sat back between her best friend and Maggie. When the big cooler was placed between Alex and Kara closer to their feet with a basket of snacks on the top now behind it, Lucy ran back with two chairs for Sam and her. The Director set herself up by Kelly and Alex, just close enough to reach out and tap them both on the shoulder if she wanted to. Sam though, chose to sit between the Danvers sisters, but back some so as not to block their physical connection.

"Alright _you dorks. _Who wants what?" Alex laughed when everyone including her sister had one finger pointed at the cooler then one at the snacks. She rolled her eyes, slid off the lounge chair and began to take orders. _She looked around, even as they joked around, threw ice at one another playfully and toasted to the 'Crew of Crazies' and enjoyed a relaxing day by the water. _

"What's the game plan Lance." They toasted too, now delighting in fresh brewed iced tea at the upper deck. Thea and Sara decided to watch over the group instead of joining them.

"We do what we do best."

"_Hmph. Kick some ass?_" The assassin smirked.

"Do what we can, everything we can, to take away the pain of that ray of sunshine. She's done enough for this damn Earth. It's about damn time _she _gets a break." '_One way or another Kara. I will make sure of it. You've saved this Earth. You saved other Earths. You've saved us all. Let us save you...this time, my friend.'_

* * *

They both watched as _Agent 'Hot Ass' _shoved the gun and holster into one of her boots, securing it by two straps, then slipping the sheath and three throwing knives in the other, also securing it with two straps. She tightened it, slipped her dark denim jeans over the boots, glanced back slightly with Sam and Lucy staring at her ass, which she just rolled her eyes shaking her head at them. She slid the black belt with tiny tracker built in, through the loops, buckling the mighty nice belt buckle, which Sara had graced her with. _Who knew_ you could house three small knockout micro-needles in there. Lance had also supplied her with a cute keychain of mace, a mini taser and a darling rainbow owl keychain too. Where she found that, even Maggie wanted to know.

"You _sure _about this?" Thea usually wasn't one to butt in, but Sara assured her that she wouldn't be too far away. She nodded, adjusting the sports bra, connecting the small silver hooks that ran down the front like a zipper on the tight dark burgundy vest, then putting on her sister's necklace carefully. "What is that?"

"It was a necklace Kara's mother gave to her, when she put her in the pod and sent her away before Krypton exploded." Alex rested it gently on her chest, taking a deep breath still reeling from the memory. "When J'onn and her went to go fight Non and Indigo, which she didn't say goodbye just merely to keep it safe for her, I almost never saw her again. I wouldn't have if I hadn't figured out how to fly her pod into space and save her. It was the day of Myriad. You remember that day Luce."

"I do. I remember how terrified you looked. The pain, not from that, but of the last goodbye she told you. She saved us all and it nearly cost her her life." Lucy handed her the pocket knife Alex had once given her to hold onto. "_Here._" She smirked and couldn't help but laugh.

"Gold thorns and black roses. Damn Lane."

"Kept it safe. I mean shit _you _made it." Maggie snatched it out of her ex's hand then whistled rather impressed. "She made it in college."

"That's pretty sick looking Alex." Sam commented. The Detective handed it back. "I can come with you." She tilted her head, stunned at how damn smooth and concealed the firearm was that Felicity had given her. "It folds?"

"Can I get two?" Both Lucy and Maggie asked. Both watched Sara come closer and the Director heard a slight growl from Sawyer and Dr. Olsen. When the blonde reached out, she grabbed Alex's wrist, squeezing it until her hand opened.

"_What is.._" She looked down, feeling the wings against her skin. Lance closed her hand, pushing it back against Danvers' chest.

"Your sister has the other pair. They were mine and Laurel's. I may have lost my sister, but I won't let you lose yours Alex." She used her other hand to grab Sara by the arm, pulling her closer then hugging her tightly. "_Wings..for both of you._" When their embrace broke, the assassin smirked, slipped passed her then hauled off and slapped Alex's ass who jumped from the impact. She turned and grumbled. "_Let me know how your ass is later Danvers!_"

"This is some form of an inside joke with you two I'm guessing." Kelly chimed in, trying not to growl again at the personal space that woman seemed to get into of her girlfriend's.

"_Ooooor something._" The Detective snickered, getting three glares her direction as she held up her hands in surrender. "_Just Sayin'._" '_Leave it to Sarcastic Sawyer.' _Alex thought, running her fingers through her hair, even as she slipped both tribal looking black and silver puzzle rings over two fingers of her left hand. Only one, her sister had given her with her zodiac sign in the birthstone for her birthday, had kryptonian runes inside the band with '_Sisters Stronger Together' _etched in gold that Kara had done herself, was on her right hand. "_Danvers._"

"I'll be okay." Alex hugged her first love, not realizing that Kelly and Sam were talking by the vehicle. She turned her head, whispering in the Detective's ear. "_I promise Mags._" Both held on a bit tighter, not ready to let go but knowing they had to. She fist bumped Lucy, already heading over to say goodbye to the other two.

"Gotta be careful Sawyer." The Director warned, which Maggie heard loud and clear.

"I don't like this Little Lane." She grinned when she heard a groan from Lucy.

"_Please be safe Alex._" She kissed her girlfriend, hugging her then Sam then left the motel room.

"_We've got her covered._" White Canary and Speedy told them, already dressed and ready for action. Olsen, Arias, Lane and Sawyer watched _both _women leave quietly while tilting their heads to check out their asses.

"_Damn._" Once they left, Maggie composed herself, swallowing down both the lump of nervousness as well as what saliva she might have drooled from all the hot women in tight ass clothing. She took up one of the stools by the window, handed a set of digital binoculars already set to the proper distance. "Dare I ask?"

"Smoak hooked us up." Sam explained. "_I..I'm sorry ladies._" Three heads turned. "I should have stuck around. I just couldn't handle everything after _Reign and.._"

"This isn't on you Sam. _This is on HER._" Lucy growled deeply, still itching to beat the ever living shit out of the Luthor for what happened to her best friend.

"_No?_" They shook their heads. '_It always will be...Reign's and mine.' _None of them understood, but _she _did. As furious as she was with Lena, she also knew where she was coming from. Yet here she was, trying to help. _They hoped._

* * *

She sat in the booth, so very grateful that no one had approached her angrily, ran or pointed. Perhaps it had to do with the pulled back hair in the L A logo-ed black hat, sporting support for the Kings hockey team. Regardless, the service was amazing and it had been the second time in fifteen minutes that she had been asked if she wanted a refill of iced tea, or if she was ready to order. Just as she contemplated getting an appetizer, one of the waitresses voices announced a familiar arrival.

"_Ohhhh my gosh! Alex Danvers? Look at you! Dang woman you look good! Shoot Alex. When you get hotter?_"

"Thank's Meg. Ha ha some things never change with you. How have you been? How's your boy?"

"Causing trouble but playing Varsity. You in town for a little while?"

"_Perhaaaaps. _Listen I am meeting a friend of mine." She couldn't believe the sincerity to which the woman called her _friend. _"Oh you know what? Found her! Got that silk pie I like?"

"_For you beautiful? Always._" The heavy boot steps getting louder told her everything she needed to know, swallowing down the lump in her throat when a rather _stunning _Director Danvers slipped into the booth facing her, with a mere table separating them. The waitress came by, bringing a different more tropical colored iced tea, along with a slice of chocolate silk pie. A second piece was in front of her with a smile. "Do let me know if there is anything else I can get you ladies." She slightly turned her head to look back and watch this Megan walk away.

"It's orange peach mango iced tea. Care to try?" Her calm tone made her turn back and face the music, taking the offered glass to take a taste. "Not bad huh." She nodded. Alex leaned over and tapped the table at an interesting beat, then held up two fingers returning her attention to her. "She's bringing one over. It's a house blend their family makes. The pie too."

"How many are listening." She already knew the woman wasn't alone.

"Enough to wanna kick your business class ass, a few times over."

"At least you're honest." She took the manila folder from behind the condiments basket by the wall. "_Here._ This is everything I analyzed and every trace I could find in both locked cabinets as well as the tables, chairs and floor. There were two test tubes, probably extras he made. I ran those too." She wanted to apologize, but knew there was no chance in hell or any other purgatory that this woman would ever forgive her for any of this. When the folder was taken, opened and looked over, she thanked this Megan for the iced tea who smiled and strode off to take care of other customers. She didn't bother with the straw, taking a sip of her drink.

"_This.._" She studied Alex's expression, shocked when she saw the woman's face shift completely from stern and somewhat irritated to one of sadness, concern and remorse. When the woman brought her head up and brown met her greens, a tear ran down the side of the Director's face. "_You didn't.._"

"_No. _I created something to temporarily block a kryptonian's abilities if another hostile one showed up like Reign. I _never _made _ANYTHING _to erase their kryptonian DNA. I wouldn't. I _couldn't. _I didn't make anything after Lex threw the lies in my face. I mean, I changed out a few doors and windows and stripped all of your accesses. If she had _taken _what _I _had made, it would have worn off in seventy-two hours."

"_Lena._" She couldn't stop the tears, putting her head down in shame, feeling a plate pushed closer to her hand. When their eyes met again, there was a brief smile to Alex's face. "Try the pie." A napkin was handed to her too.

"_She did it...because of me Alex._"

"I'll kick your rich royal ass later. Eat the damn pie." They silently ate theirs, to which she wanted to moan at how good it was. "_Told you._" Once finished, Megan came by and asked if she could bring them anything else. Alex ordered them two beach burgers and their famous cheddar bacon potato peels, knowing damn well she probably hadn't eaten much lately. "You lost weight."

"_Yes. You too._"

"My sister seems to have...slimmed us _both _down. _Hang on._" The phone came out and Lena figured she was texting the pack not to attack for now.

"I take it the archer is three buildings down?" Danvers nearly choked on her tea. "I have a 360 digital lens on my bike Alex. I had to be careful going out in public after the horror you know who unleashed on everyone."

"_Give me a moment._ Lena.._I swear..if you.._"

"If I am then you can shoot me with both guns Alex." When a hand came up by the ear and something was tapped, she figured it was a bluetooth piece.

"How you know I'm carrying two, I'll ask about later. _Ladies, two below T please._" She quirked a brow, attempting to decode, until they heard Megan squeal. Alex shook her head rolling her eyes.

"Closet gay?" She nodded, with two women walking over to them. When Lena turned to greet them, her eyes widened in shock at who was before them. One stunning blonde and someone she hadn't heard much from since leaving National City. "_S...Sam!_"

"At least I don't have to drop you again." Lena scooted over, watching Sam sit beside Alex. She, however, got the damn hot stranger. "_Here._ We knocked you out last time." A phone was slid over with a video she quickly pressed play on after putting one of the two headphones in her ear. Her eyes grew larger at what she saw. Once done, she took the piece out of her ear and handed both the headphones and device back to this woman. "Sara Lance."

"_Sam?_" Her friend looked over the file, handed it to Sara and waited until they were all caught up. More tears fell, leaning back, putting her head back, so fractured but feeling as if she didn't deserve even that.

"You _still _feel responsible Samantha?" Sara asked and Lena noticed Sam nodding doing her best not to cry either.

"_Megan?_" The waitress came over, smiling and checking out the other two women, leaning down when Alex crooked a finger. "_Still good looking too._" Megan's confusion was evident. "_My girlfriend is close by. My ex fiance is here too. Out of the cupboard yet?_"

"_You're.._" Three more women joined the group. The waitress gawked at more beautiful company. "_Damn Alex._"

"My sister will be joining us as well. Could we take this party to your back room?"

"Are _any _of you single?" Sam, Lucy, Maggie and Thea who strode over raised their hands a little. She did as well, noticing Sara hadn't and she already knew Kelly was dating Alex. "_Numbers?_"

"_Later._" They all spoke at once smirking, with Alex and her handing over the two empty pie plates, cleaning up behind them then heading to the back room usually reserved for smaller parties.

"Three pitchers Alex?"

"Make it four _gorgeous._" Lucy and Alex facepalmed.

"Leave it to the Detective."

"_Wrong comment._" Alex whispered.

"_Carry your handcuffs...Detective?_"

"_Later._" Maggie winked.

"Let's go." They situated themselves around the long rectangular table, with Alex taking head along with Sara. Once seated, Megan took their orders then headed out to the kitchen to let the cooks know.

"_Show it._" Lucy requested and Sara passed the file that way. Each took a look at it, including Maggie and Kelly who sat beside Alex. "_Jesus._"

"_Shit._" The Detective ran her eyes over the findings, eyes landing on hers. "_You sure?_" With a heavy shiver, she nodded, warranting nervousness as badly as her own. "_This..this is bad._"

"_Thank you..Thea?_" The woman beside Sara flashed a thumbs up. "_Thank you._"

"_For what? _Leaving a hole in your bedroom wall?"

"For the _wake up call. _Kelly, _thank you too._"

"Sorry but...that was _awesome as hell._" Maggie commented slightly snickering.

"I deserved it. What can we do to _reverse.._"

The heaviest sigh caught everyone's attention, when Felicity came in and shook her head while holding a tablet out, handing it to Alex with the most distraught expression covering her face.

"_Oh my god._" A hand came up and over Danvers' mouth, who dropped the tablet on the table as she fell forward to slump over it. Alex's entire body trembled with all eyes on her. "_No. No..no._" They heard the beginning of the most heaviest sobs, wanting to reach out but watched the tablet slid out from under her body.

"_Let me.._" Maggie took it, briefly catching part of the tests and results then giving it to her. Lena took in everything, slowly scrolling down the charts and knowing it was only a matter of time before she broke Like Alex just had. That's when she noticed a few things yet to be caught. "_Wait._" Their gazes locked on her and she reached for a pen in her purse, asking for the disposable placemat, pointing to two more. She motions for Maggie to move and Felicity to take Kelly's seat. Both do so. When she sits where the Detective had been, she begins to scribble out a few formulas. Smoak's jaw drops, as does Danvers.

While their appetizers, new pitchers, meals and warmer tops are brought in and Alex thanked Megan who tells them just holler if they need anything, Sam and Lucy set it all up and put the metal covers over each plate to keep everything warm. Sara starts a chat with Sam as Thea talks to Kelly. Maggie is commenting on a few combos she jotted down, pointing out the lists and the interactions to the drugs. Alex grabbed her phone, making another call and hoping her mother was at the house. _Sure enough.._

"_Alexandra?_" Lena raised an eyebrow, as did everyone else even when the woman sighed when it had been picked up and she placed it on speaker.

"_Mom...not THAT please. _Are you at the house?"

"_I am. Why do you have me on speaker? Nia is with her._"

"I have something that may help her." She spoke up, even with Alex looking at her like she had lost her mind.

"_Why..are you with my daughter._"

"Same reason we _all _are. Can you come to the diner?"

"_Alex..andra._" It was a warning, to which brought a gulp from the tough ass sister.

"_Come here Mom. _Bring your notebook. Felicity is here too."

"_Fifteen minutes._"

Eyes landed solely on one person and one only. Their gazes were still glistening with a bit of anger, but most of it had calmed down. Some of them had hoped the Luthor would fuck up, by saying something close to a confession or perhaps a conceded remark, so they could pummel her with every ounce of pent up rage. Instead, Alex held out her hand to which the person was caught completely off guard, yet still, the new Director obeyed the old Director's order. A familiar book came out, passed to Alex and when she had a grip on it, she leaned over and handed to Lena.

"I want you to know, before you are _allowed_ to open that.." This wasn't Alex talking, this was a _completely _stern, focused, '_Badass'_ Agent Danvers that _ALL _other agents pissed themselves if they had to answer to. This was the Director that had taken over the DEO, after being J'onn's Co-Director and _best _agent he had for years. ".._look. _Every single one of these people, harbors that upset and their target is _YOU. _I myself, have held back to give you _SOME _benefit of the doubt, given that you have brought forth these revelations and the evidence to which my sister used to _punish _herself."

No one dared to speak, knowing Agent Danvers wasn't done. When she stood, everyone sat up straight in their seats as if all agents of the DEO. Everyone, including Lena, who could feel the trickles of nervousness and a tinge of fear at the tone of the older sister's voice. "The truth here, Lena Luthor, is that my sister was and _is _tired. She's been exhausted. She never had a moment to break down, to let it all out. She never did with me, unless we were kids but even then, she didn't want to because she didn't want to upset anyone. She buried it all Lena. She buried the pain of watching Krypton's last day. She shoved down the fires, the volcanic bursts that melted her family and friends away. She was sent off by her mother, with the necklace that I wear now."

Alex put her head down for a moment, leaning forward with both hands on the table, even as they curled into fists. The collected and professional voice fell away, with a fractured one slipping in and with the change, everyone _including _Lena, wanted to wrap their arms around her when the first tears dripped down. "In a tiny pod, she watched helpless when Krypton exploded before her so very lost and broken eyes. The explosion, it sent her pod into a place called the '_Phantom Zone'_ where she was stuck for twenty-four years. She was trapped in that horrid place in absolute silence. So, she never really let it all out. _I...I KILLED her Aunt..to save J'onn. _I took a kryptonite sword and stabbed her from the back.

Even after the..._Red K _incident, which words were spoken that she remembered saying and it absolutely broke her, there was the '_Myriad' _situation and my mind was taken over. I almost killed her with the same sword. It was my Mom that snapped me out of it. _I...I was standing.. OVER her.. with that same sword facing down to..I almost killed my sister._ You should know, like we all do, she puts you...she puts us _ALL first._ She lost Mon-El, thinking that he died when she sent him off in her pod. She pushed herself into Supergirl duties, not spending more than three hours resting every night. I just wanted you to know."

Alex made sure she had a hold of Lena's gaze, shifting back to the Boss mode. "Her video to me nearly killed me Lena. I shared a couple of entries with some of these people here. Each one of these women that read or heard them, they puked. It's not an easy read. I'm warning you now." She knew Lena was thrown into absolute silence, but her nod answered what Alex was practically asking her. The understanding had been met, the warnings were heard. The tattered emotions of them all, Alex was sure Lena felt on some level. Once she read one of the entries, she would _feel _them _completely.. _

_*** * * Entry Number One: August 5th_**_

_**I am I think it's the um fifth of this month I think august. I don't know for sure nor the day of the week it is. It's not like it matters anymore. I just don't know. I don't. What is there to know? Part of me wishes the mind wipe had stayed. My sister would have the life she wanted. I seem to just be a nuisance. I mean the other me did stop my heart and I deserved every hit which honestly felt like both a true relief even as painful as it was. It was my sister to bring me back. She remembered me and who I am. What good did it really do? I mean if the wipe had stayed my sister wouldn't feel that guilt and maybe her and Lena would move on. I wanted to tell Lena the day on the ship. I wanted to tell her the day I fought Rhea. I wanted to tell her that day J'onn brought her in for questioning. The worst was the elevator ride and how she compared me to Lillian. Well Lillian was right. When she found out she would hate me. I hate me. I hate Supergirl. I hate that I'm kryptonian. I hate these stupid powers. I wish after I had fought Lex, that the other me saved me from and when I defeated him and I tried to save him but he wouldn't take it because I'm some stupid fucking alien of a dead planet. I wish when I had defeated him that I died with him. I wish J'onn had wiped both their memories. I'm going to leave. I already grabbed the one thing I had told my sister I had gotten rid of as a kid. I still have the box Alex. Sorry Sis. It's open right now. It burns but I deserve it. I'm glad I kept this crystal shard. I think I might make it a knife. It will be easier to cut me and stab me then. I don't have a God complex. I don't have any of that power. Rao just take these damn powers away. Rao sentence me and make the yellow sun just like everyone else feels. Rao make the yellow sun for me be like our red sun from Krypton. Rao punish me for her. Punish me for wishing to be human with her. Punish me for my blood. If you can't me human Rao, then take me into your light for good. I have a plan. I hope after I do it that they kill me for just being a traitor and leaving. I don't want to wear that crest anymore. I don't deserve to. Even though it hurts when I cut my hand again, it feels good to feel pain. To watch my blood spill. That's what I'll do. I'll brand myself with this. I'll brand the words I deserve to be called into me. Tattoos are kinda forever for people. These will be the tattoos to show everyone what I deserved to be called by her. Lex was right. I'm a monster. Good people don't keep secrets like this. Monsters do. Forgive me Alex. If you can't. Live. Forgive me Eliza. You have been an amazing Mom. Forgive me Lena. I know you never will but I hope you'll be happy. Be that hero now. The world doesn't need me to be anymore. Nia, you've always been that hero. Forgive me honey. Brainy will show you the way. I have so many people I need to say sorry to, which I will. Letters will do it. Four cuts now. Shit I bled on the floor. I need to get to the bank so I can write a check to Mrs. Duvenna for rent. I gotta get to CATCO and turn in sick/vacation time. If I get fired Nia can take my place. Okay this has to get put back in the box so I can pack. Lots to do. I really am sorry Lena. I was a coward not some hero. For a while, I looked at you like Alex looked at Maggie when they first became a couple. Please forgive James. If not find someone good that sees you, not your last name. Rao I'm sorry. I love her. I think if I still had time I would have realized my feelings for her too. It doesn't matter. I wish Lex would have killed me. I know deep down he maybe could have changed. I would have tried to help him. If someone comes along if my plan to strip everything away doesn't work, then I hope someone kills me. J'onn if I go, erase me from their minds. Strip me from their good lives. I don't deserve to cry. Empty me Rao. This I wish. For Rao, will it be done. I hope. Bye.**_

_**\- Kara Luhnah Zor-El. **_

_*** * * End of Entry**_


	5. Circumstances Present Themselves

Eliza had barely driven into the lot, when the call came in on both mother and daughter's phones from a frantically terrified Nia. Alex rushed to pay the tab, but Lena told Megan to put it all on her bill and she would sign the merchant slip of paper and retrieve her card later. Being a friend of her old high school pal's proved the honesty behind her word, backed up by Alex herself. Both the former Director and CEO shook hands outside, promised to hash things out later and Alex told Lena to follow them back to the Danvers' residence. She whistled for Thea to ride with her, while Sam had Sara jump on the back of her own ride. Maggie slipped behind Lucy, who had been the one to pick her up anyway and Kelly, along with Felicity took the other car to retrieve everything from the hotel room across the way. Both women told them they would head back to the house once it was all situated, leaving the rest of the gang racing back just as fast as Eliza was driving which scared the hell out of Alex honestly.

"_You guys good?_" She spoke over her helmet headset, grateful it was a one way road Eliza had motioned for them to take. Sam and Sara had pulled up on the left side of Alex and Thea, with Lena pulling up on the other side. Lucy and Maggie had followed Eliza, just to make sure Mama Bear would be okay driving back, with how terrified she had sounded when they heard her scream from the parking lot.

"_As good as we can be._" The Detective spoke, but her voice rattled with the emotions coursing through her like waves crashing against one another. She gripped to the Director's belt tighter, already knowing Lucy was shaking just as badly as she was. They were slightly terrified of Eliza's driving too, but wouldn't admit it to anyone else.

"_Alex..I'm.._" Sam couldn't stand the hell, someone she called a sister was enduring. Honestly, no one could, but it hit her harder because of everything with Reign. Sara was patting her arm, while Sam figured she was holding onto one of the grip bars she had installed on her ride that retracted back under the seat when she turned off the bike if she had a passenger with her. Another reminder how her little extras on her Ducati came in handy, especially at times like these.

"_Positive thoughts ladies. We need to remember that when we get there._" Sara added, then glanced over at her friend's other side. "_Alex._" Danvers glanced to her side and Lance motioned to her left. Every bit of the business woman's body screamed tension and fear. The grip on her handlebars was so tight, even with finger-less gloves, and Alex saw how white those digits were. It wasn't just that, it was her posture and it's the first time they all noticed what wasn't on her head. Their focus had been so keen on getting back to the house, to Kara, that none of them realized Lena didn't have her helmet on. The dangerous velocity they were taking, told Alex everything she needed to know. This person she wanted to literally throw into space without any suit and air, was risking life and limb to get to someone she really _DID _believe in. Caution was thrown to the wind and putting her gaze back on the road, the leader of the pack picked up even more speed motioning with one hand out and pointing to the right to alert their other companion as to where to head.

By the time they pulled into the drive, Eliza was shouting for Alex to hurry. Everyone parked and Thea jumped off so Alex could sprint for the recently expanded sunroom, where everyone had mattresses set up when they weren't staying in the tents. Adjacent to the sun room, on the left side, was another space entirely, with everything medically needed, along with the portal key for dire emergencies that Felicity could use to link their dimensional spaces to supply other machines the Danvers may not have access to on their end of things.

At the moment, Nia and her best friend weren't in that room, but on the center mattress and one dive down to her sister and she could see how difficult it was for Dreamer to keep a hold of the violently thrashing hero. By the time the rest of them entered, minus Sara and Thea who held onto Lena's arms to keep her from doing so, Alex had Nia let go and slipped behind her sister being the big spoon how she always did, trying her damnedest to calm Kara down. Maggie sat at the head of the bed, sitting on two mattresses so she could run her fingers through shorter auburn red strands.

Lucy laid down facing the beautiful soul all of them felt even more protective of now, taking one both her hands and gently massaging them. Terrified blues shut, but the tears hadn't stopped yet, with a face pale from a fright unlike any other they had seen her display since being there.

"_We're here Kara. We're here._" She spoke as softly as she could, seeing the fresh nearly open skin where her friend, her family, had scratched up her already marked up arms so much she bled in a few spots. Lucy shut her own eyes, doing her best not to start crying again like she had so many times since stepping foot in the Danvers home. If _Rao _was listening to every prayer they were sending his way, she hoped he did something soon to heal this angel from Krypton. As far as everyone was concerned she came from the heavens just to bless their lives with her presence and hope no one else could ever show them. Just when Lucy thought Kara was asleep once more, a fragile tattered voice came through tensing everyone around.

"_Ev..th..thing..every..burn..trapped..fire..so much..f..fire. It sha...shakes. Tra..pped. C..can...can't..esca..pe. E..ex...are..expo..sion...the..there ev..erywh..where. B..burn..a..live..burn. Tr..app..ed. Sha..shake. Dizz..dizzy. Spin. Too dark. M..mom. D..dad. Bur..they..can..neck. Too..small. Le..Le..xy. Lex..p..plea..se. Do..don't..water. Tank. Drow..drown. Hot. Cold. Bro..broke..prom..ise. She. Me. mad..at. So..sorry. Plea..p.. . Hurt..fall. Tired. Hur..hurt..La..Lee..frien..friend..bess..t..t. Ba..bad. S..sun. Bad..d._"

Felicity couldn't move, gripping to Eliza's hand. Kelly stumbled back taking a seat in one of the chairs putting her head down in her hands fighting against the inevitable tears. Sam hit her knees, crawling closer next to Maggie and feathered two fingers over the side of Kara's face. Lucy let go of one of her hands, seeing it latch to her sister's arm.

"_Kar. I want you to listen, okay?_" Alex said, feeling a slight squeeze on her arm that was wrapped around her sister's waist. Kara nodded slightly. "_**Rrip..Chao Ju Im Krep Otem Nahn Voi.**_" She hoped and prayed to Krypton's god, that Kara understood the kryptonese meaning, that they as sisters and everyone else around them were safe. Her sister's head slightly turned, trying to look back at her and that expression flicked from confused to acknowledged, helping Alex calm her racing heart. She smiled and sure enough Kara did too some. "_I love you._"

"_**Khap Ukiep..Rrip Vahdhah. Uki..ep...Rrip..Ju.**_" Hearing her say I love you back, not just to her but to everyone there, had those around them easing from the tension they held. Alex hugged her sister a little bit closer to her body, putting her head on Kara's shoulder as the dam broke from her eyes flooding her face and soaking the loose sky blue t-shirt she had on.

Nia approached and strangely enough sagged against Maggie until her head was resting in the Detective's lap. Sawyer began to run fingers through her hair too. Dreamer looked beyond exhausted and with things finally tranquil enough, she gave in to the sleep she needed. Maggie had no issue with that, feeling this connection to her she just couldn't explain. It was close to the same one she had with Little Danvers, now understanding why she had called Nia '_Little Dream'._

Kelly, with Felicity's help to stand back up joining her, and Eliza slipped away to tend to the tests ran and what they could do to ease Kara's suffering. They had sorted out two possibilities, yet to be analyzed even further. For the time being, the three would address the one thing that could be the main cause to the extremities of the affliction to Kara's head, knowing most likely she had suffered a traumatic brain injury from the impact when hitting the ground. It wasn't just the fall that had done this much damage. There was more to it and they were determined to figure it what.

Neither Speedy nor White Canary had a hand each on the woman's arms anymore. There was no need, when the CEO staggered back, leaving hand-prints on the glass window looking into the sun room. This twisted, cold-hearted, arrogant bitch Thea had met before was no longer present. Lena entire being was raked in an unyielding terror, saddened and torn after witnessing what she had. Her best friend, the one who believed in her most of all, who just wanted to be normal in her eyes, had been broken in the cruelest of manners. She had been the _FINAL _nail in the coffin, sealing her fate.

"_I..I did this._" Lena had nothing left, dropping to the ground onto her knees falling forward unable to catch herself with her hands. Face down in the grass and dirt, everything left in her spilled out completely. She was sobbing so hard the soil began to soften muddying her face. She clenched her fists and pounded the ground, unleashing the rage and hate she directed at herself. Loss and regret shredded the last of her strength, draining Lena until there was nothing but the blackness that swallowed her whole and claimed her into unconsciousness.

Both women were tempted to check on her, instead leaving her there to grasp the depth of the situation first hand like they had. One look between them and they agreed on their plan of action when it came to this Luthor. Sara and Thea stepped forward, looking in and noticing Maggie waving to them to come inside. They to a last glimpse back once more, going to the door and entering the sun room to see how Kara was doing, finding out both Danvers sisters had given into their bodies demand for sleep.

"_Thea._" Sara whispered, pointing to the stack in the corner of plush chair pillows. One stepped to the left pile, while the other to the right. Slowly and quietly gathering a few, Thea slipped one behind Maggie and Sam, with Sara setting up one for Lucy, now sitting up, her little sister and herself. Arias reached to the side and with Sawyer's help, slipped the softest of pillows under the Danvers sisters' heads.

"_Where'd ya leave Luth?_" Thea gaze met Maggie's.

"_Face down. In the dirt._"

"You put here there?" Sam kept her voice down, same as the rest of them.

"_Nope._" Sara popped the P. "_She did THAT all herself._"

"_It feels..good but..bad._" Maggie sighed, still dragging fingers through both of her little sisters' hair. She put her head back, shutting her eyes, as she fought tooth and nail not to shatter how her heart had already done. That's when she felt fingers slip through her own hair, noticing who was doing it. "_Lance.._"

"One thing you need to know about Felicity, is she's kinda like Danvers, if not _worse. _She doesn't give up, no matter what. If anyone can find a way to help Kara, it's her." Sara told her, doing what she could to calm the rattled Detective, continuing the act of comfort through dark strands.

It was true though. Felicity Megan Smoak, who had peeked in just as she heard her name spoken by White Canary, would somehow someway, _find _the solution. Come hell or high water, _NO MATTER WHAT.._

* * *

"_So.._" Lucy glanced over the top of the grill lid, still holding the metal spatula in one hand, tongs in the other, quirking one eyebrow up at Sam. Arias set her Pepsi down, meeting a rather interesting gleam in Lane's eyes. "How would you _prefer,_ your _meat _prepared." Sam coughed on the soda she had just swallowed, hearing another cough close to her belonging to a chip munching Kara.

"However you would like to _give it_ to her." Maggie commented, side bumping Alex's fist who smirked when they strode over. Sam tried not choke again, hearing Lucy break out in laughter while flipping burgers. "_Just Sayin'._" Sawyer smirked, sliding beside her little sister with Danvers checking on the grill queen's menu choices. "Got vegan going on there I hope."

"_Well..._we _alllll_ know how you deny meat of any kind Detective." Sam chuckled while winking at Lucy, drinking a beer. The two at the barbecue tapped elbows at the remark.

"_Bedroom talk._" Kara grumbled, eating the last of her second hot dog, munching on potato chips.

"The rest of the gang is still snoozing. Lab rats kept up til' like five, so they are wiped." Alex explained the absence of some of them. "Mom needs more rest, after her blood pressure and asthma kicking her in the butt." She was doing her best not to curse in front of her sister.

"Where'd they stick Luth.." Sam slapped a hand over Maggie's mouth, but not quick enough, noticing Kara's hand shaking that was holding her punch cup. Lucy glared at the idiot who let the name fly, hoping it wouldn't erupt another anxiety attack for their fragile angel of hope. _Too late._

"_Lee..sh..she's..__**Otem?**_" Alex wanted to kick her ex's ass a few times over for the slip up. They _ALL _did. She calmly went to her sister's side. "_**Udolkhehdia **__sis. __**Aoe. Zhed Zhadif..**__will fo..forgive..__**Zhalish Khap..**__me._" Alex knelt down, taking both of her sister's hands carefully, brushing her thumbs over not so banged up knuckles. Her chestnut browns met Kara's shaky cerulean blues. "_What..are..am..__**Ehwor..**__speak.._" Confusion etched her features, but Alex kept her expression relaxed, so as not to cause anymore panic for the trembling woman.

"_**Gehd Nahn Kryptahniuo. **__It's Kryptonese._" She told her, in both languages, curious but fearful as to what her sister would say. Kara gripped her hands, a tad stronger than usual.

"_**Ta- Zhor **__racing?_" Alex's eyes widened, unable to remove the shock from her face quick enough, for her sister not to see it. "_Lots..of..race..racing _hearts." She didn't catch Lucy flicking her eyes into Sam's.

"_Hey Danvers. _Wanna take up my grill mastering? Show em how top '_Badass' _Danvers fires it." The Director called her friend out, winking when Alex turned to her. They were on the same page. _Distraction._

"Isn't that Chinese checkers board in the house?" She winked back, standing up and kissing the top of her sister's head. Lucy nodded, watching Alex kiss the top of her sister's head and whispered something in her ear. Kara's face lit up and gave a thumbs up.

"That's the one your friend Megan made in wood/metal shop right?" Blue eyes sparkled, sipping her punch again, looking at her big sister curiously.

"Have you seen Megan Lex?" Alex swung her hip against Lucy's that headed into the house to retrieve the game. She nodded and signed that her friend worked at the cafe restaurant in town. Kara signed back and made a motion for pie, with Alex rolling her eyes at her.

"Oh that _hot _little waitress that wants to test out my cuff.." Sam slapped a hand over Maggie's mouth causing both sisters to laugh. Alex was enjoying this banter, jumping when someone smacked her ass, already knowing who it was with the other snickering.

"_Morrrrrning Lance._" Sara turned just as Lucy strode by, not missing a chance to smack the Director's too. Lane nearly dropped the case with the board and marbles in it, jumping from the impact. Thea just shook her head, sitting beside Kara and giving her a side hug.

"What's the game?" She asked, when Lucy plopped down with Sam moving some for her. Maggie leaned over and chuckled to tell Kara to show her how it's done.

"Chinese Checkers. Our waitress at the cafe restaurant made the board for me in high school. You'll see why." The minute the case was undone, the board removed, it was opened only for all eyes to land on the gorgeous mosaic designs around each dimple for the marbles that were in their own case.

"_I remember!_" Kara squealed, with the sisters looking at each other. Jaws were dropped at how beautiful it was, all but the Danvers who smiled at their work of art.

"_That.._" Heads turned to the sound of another voice merely some were storing away to memory. Alex however, grinned even bigger when her old school pal came up to stand beside her at the grill. "_Was a pain._ It turned out heavenly though. _Gotta admit.._" Gazes locked on the stunning darker redhead with Irish land green hues and her shoulder length hair pulled back and braided, right next to the agent. Megan gave Alex a side hug, squeezed her hip and then slipped around to greet the rest.

"_Uh.._" Sam and Lucy noticed Maggie's mouth partially open, but she didn't blame her with how good the woman looked outside the place of business. They had thought Agent Danvers was built at the arms in that soldier hot way. _Damn. _Megan had on a dark green tank, fitting enough but not too tight, denim capris that showed off nicely sculpted legs and a set of exercise style black sandals. On the top of her head were her Oakley's in a tropical ocean shade that she took off when she knelt down a little with a smile at someone she knew all too well. Megan put her shades on Kara's face, with her immediately lunging forward to hug the waitress.

"Not blonde anymore I see." Megan hugged her back, turning slightly to wink at the Detective, but she snapped her head to the side and up, catching the eyes of the one looking down at everyone. In a sudden motion that caught the rest of them off guard, she picked Kara up and spun her a bit, making sure the one in her arms had a back to Alex and furthermore who she motioned to her friend to look up at. "_THIS _is cute though Kar." She felt a giggle against her shoulder, glanced to the side and winked at the Detective again. She motioned with her green eyes for Maggie to look up too, following where Alex's line of sight was aimed. She wasn't the only one that noticed the locked in stare, briefly seeing who had been watching them. She shook her head, trying not to let anger flash in her hazel greens.

"_Sooo _my turn at the grill then. Time to show y'all how an _Arias _works the fires to my advantage." Sam high-fived Lucy, Kara giggled again in Megan's arms, as Alex and Sara stepped inside but not before the new chef put her two cents in. "_Steak me _five and make sure you show me what those _stronnnnng _hands can _do_.._Danvers._" Maggie broke out in laughter as did Megan, who's eyes flicked up then down and carefully turned Kara around who was sitting in her lap.

"You comfortable?" She asked, getting a nod. "_Good. _I'm glad you guys kept this."

"So you did the designs?" Thea was curious.

"I did the wood burning but it was Alex that painted it. Kara came up with the design in one of my sketchbooks. I still have it too." When she looked back Megan smiled, telling her again. "I have it. I kept it. You signed it, remember?"

"_Cuimhním. Bhí tú i gcónaí deas._" Something filtered through her eyes, grateful Kara had put her head forward again, pointing to the beautiful marble sets for Lucy to pick from.

"I figured you remembered. I'll _always _be nice.._bí deas_ to you." Megan let the accent slip in, comfortable enough to do so with this group of people. She was curious though, upon coming over to return the card and get the merchant slip signed, why this Lena Luthor wasn't joining them. There was _something _going on here and she was _determined..to find out what.._

* * *

Both arms were locked behind her, pushed up just enough at her lower back to be painful, bent over the edge of the bed she currently had her face pushed into. The minute she had been given the look she received, her ass should have taken off as quickly as possible. _Apparently, NOT fast enough._

"_Al..ex.._" She struggled to say, face still shoved into the bed, with no wiggle room to get her arms free.

"_You..SHOULDN'T be acting..with such..foolish..ideals._" Sara spoke firmly in Lena's ear, yanking the woman up and right off the bed, forcing her to stand with the lock never relenting. Alex stood in the doorway, arms crossed with a stare that made agents quake with fear when used. It wasn't just Agent Danvers, Director Danvers or '_Badass_ Danvers stare. This was a sister who would walk the halls of hell if it meant protecting Kara from all that would try to hurt her.

"_Al..e..x.._" Alex snapped her arm up and grabbed Lena's neck, doing her best not to squeeze how her anger wished she would. Instead, she moved closer, until their faces were a mere few inches apart.

"_Why._" She released her, but knew Sara wouldn't let the businesswoman free. She saw the tears, the anguish and cowardness through just one observation. "_Why Lena._" When the CEO's head dropped, her shoulders too, the defeat was evident in her posture.

"_She..last night. Seeing her like that Alex. I..I..did..that._" Lena's voice sounded crippling, broken and not anything like the L-Corp Professional or confident person Alex had worked alongside, to clear Supergirl's name. She nodded to Sara, who let her captive free.

"Come downstairs with me. _Quietly._" She told her, giving the assassin a signal with two fingers to return to the fam outside. Sara left swiftly, silent and Alex had to admit she wanted to learn that level of stealth. Her gaze flicked to Lena, who followed her slowly, and they made their way down the stairs, to a room where she had taken Lauren before. Both stepped into the office, with Alex shutting the door this time, pointing to the sofa that Lena walked over to occupy. Once she was seated, Danvers took up the desk chair, picking up the photo album and holding it close to her chest, hugging it like there was some magical answer hidden in one of the pages and she was the only one meant to find it. She hadn't shown the former Colonel the actual cover for the album, returned to it after everything, since it was even more personal to the sisters and their mom.

"What is that?" Lena kept her voice calm and collected, figuring it wouldn't remain that way much longer. Slowly but surely, Alex lowered her arms and with that action, the beautifully stained carved wooden book cover came into view. "_Is that.._"

"It's this place, with the beach and waves from the tides. The small clouds blanketing a line for a sunrise over the water." Alex turned it around so she could see it better. "She drew it on a panel I stained, then we cut the pieces out together. She captured the perfect moment and it wasn't a picture she took. The eidetic memory she has, it provided the image and even though she woke me up.." Alex put her head back shutting her eyes for a moment, opening them again and smiling at the recollection, lowering her line of sight to Lena's. ".._it was worth it._ We weren't very close yet, but I was trying to understand her, so I gave her another panel. I watched her draw something that looked like it came out of a fantasy world. It reminded me of Tolkein or something close to the Lord of the Rings."

Alex flipped the album over, showing Lena the other wood carving for the back of the cover, hearing the gasp. "_This.._was the view from her bedroom window on Krypton, where she could see everything. She chose to put Earth in front, her home planet behind." Emerald eyes watered, not unnoticed by her chestnut ones, handing over the photo book for Lena to see. Carefully it was taken and opened, studying the glyphs of kryptonese, doing the exact same thing Lauren did, tracing them with a finger.

"_Sisters.._" Lena took a crack at it, trying to figure out the rest.

"_..Forever._ It was her way of telling me, no matter what worlds we're a part of or from, we're sisters. _Always_. This was the first connection she made to me and I to her." Alex explained. "I wasn't kind to her at all, when she was dumped off by her Cousin. She was sent to take care of him, because when they left he was just a baby. She was thirteen when she was sent off, with that mission to raise and protect him. The explosion sent her into a twenty-four year stasis. Nothing but a silent darkness. So he didn't know what to do and brought her to us. I suddenly had some strange brat I had to take care of and protect and put my life on hold for hers. She was so scared of noises and tight closed spaces after being trapped in that pod for over two decades. So even though it was my job to protect her, I started to see her in a different light. She saved me so many times, from being hurt badly or killed. There is a picture that I showed Haley, of us, not this one though."

"_She..looks so.._" Lena couldn't strengthen her vocals at all, seeing how fragile Kara looked, about to say so, but Alex once more finished for her.

"_..fragile? Broken? Take your pick. _Mom wanted me to get a picture of her, close to sunrise and when I snuck out to do so, she was on the deck, on top of the wood table we had out there. She had her mother's necklace in that hand, hanging from the chain that her father made. She was praying, to their Kryptonian god. I coughed when I raised the camera and.._took that. _The tears, they nearly did me in but I was still annoyed at this strange girl. Everything that she lost, was there in her eyes." Alex shook her head, feeling her own tears welling up, wiping her eyes before they could fall. "_Turn it._"

Lena did so, a new awareness littering her features, when she saw the two pictures side by side, putting a hand over her mouth to hold in the shock, the answers, more questions, realization, doubt, guilt, anger, sadness, loss and worst of all..._failure. _There it was, two different moments so very far apart from one another, but the same two sisters, posed in the same way, smiling like they do with one another. "I love those photographs the most. It didn't matter what we wore, we _still.._" Alex chuckled. "..struck our _Danvers Sisters _pose." She shut the album and handed it back to the owner. "You don't want to see anymore?"

"_No._" Lena put her head back on top of the back of the sofa, gazing up at the ceiling with something akin to a blank stare. Alex recognized those signs, setting the album on the desk and contemplating her options, whether to kick this woman to the curb after she did what she could for her sister, _or.._

"What do you want to do Lena." She figured give the Luthor a choice and go from there. When jade-emerald greens met her more honey than chestnut browns, something flickered between them, quite unexpected, until the doorknob was twisted quickly, for a rushing Detective to barge in. The chocolates of her ex were locked onto now shivering hues of Lena's eyes. On instinct, Maggie reached for her hip, realizing she wasn't armed and seethed through grit teeth.

"_I.._" She shook her targeted stare off Ms. sassy class ass, instead slipping eyes into Alex's. "Little Danvers is..well, gotta see for yourself." Both women stood, stunning Maggie in itself when they slipped passed her and ran out of the office down the hall and straight to the slide door. "_Danvers..what the.._" Sawyer moved to the desk, picking up the photo album, noticing the wood carvings on both sides. Looking to the front then the back, the front again and back once more, she could see the difference in landscapes easily. She knew she shouldn't, but Maggie opened it anyway, seeing the writing on the inside and figuring it had to be kryptonese.

The Detective took a seat on the sofa, unable to put into words what her vision was taking in, seeing the girl from the stars in such torment and despondency, who had always been this incredible symbol of hope and love to others. "_Oh Little Danvers._" Maggie hoped she wasn't violating any confidential code here, but had to know more. She turned the page, seeing the two side by side pics both Lauren and Lena had seen, chuckling at the goofy way they were captured in the photos. The images alone spoke volumes to the trouble-making two pack, turning the page and nearly breaking out into full laughter. Both sisters had been buried all the way up to their chins in wet sand, glaring at who was taking the picture sticking their tongues out at the person. The next picture was of them out in the water and Alex in a wet suit on a board surfing, with Kara off to the side laying on a board watching with elbows up and chin on closed hands.

Maggie continued to go through the photographs, eyes widening when another person showed up halfway through the album. It was Kara and her, when they took a beach trip that first summer after the '_Sanvers_ began. Sawyer hadn't even realized Danvers had taken it, smiling at the memory of her and their little sister building a sandcastle together. Under the picture it had scrapbook letters in four colors that spelled '_Double Trouble' _and Maggie wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at it. In an album that was precious to the two of them, Alex had included her in it, proving just how important she was to not only her ex fiance, but to the whole Danvers family, and _what had she done? Bailed.._

Heavy boots caught her attention, quickly setting the album down where she had found it, standing up only to see Thea run in. "_What's going on._"

"We are to keep who is now upstairs from making any noise or alerting her presence." Maggie grumbled, shaking her head.

"_Luthor duty._" Speedy, the name she had been bestowed, grumbled too rolling her eyes. "Gotcha." Both took their leave, quietly heading upstairs until they saw the sliding door open to the upper deck, seeing who was keeping out of viewing distance from a certain someone.

"_Don't worry._" They heard her whisper, sounding so little and honestly to Maggie a _little pathetic. _She would keep that thought to herself, going over to the main rail to watch the action, kinda feeling heartless and sighing at her own morals and conscience, cursing in both languages she knew.

"_Touché._" Thea mentioned, signaling with a finger for the nervous wreck to come closer. "_Not. One. Word._ She tossed Lena her favorite black biker style hat and sweatshirt, holding out her shades. "_Break these, I SKEWER you with one of my arrows._" They were taken carefully, giving her the most ruthless of glares, warning Lena to dare not break her rules, that weren't just regarding the glasses. When the business boss went to walk passed her, Thea gave her one last warning, grabbing the Luthor's arm roughly. The nod was acknowledgement and Lena took it with full seriousness underlining the threat that came with it.

Maggie heard the shift in boots, shocked the wealthy wore something other than three inch heels, watching Lena rubbing her wrists some. She tapped her foot down twice, getting a scoff from behind. "_Wasn't me._" Thea muttered and on a bad habit, she removed her sunglasses, about to use them to view behind her. "_Give ya an A._"

"_Creamy. Got it. _I'm _soooo damn proud_ of Danvers." The Detective smirked, slipping her set back on. "_Hush. Kay._" The one beside her gave a thumbs up, after slipping on what was handed over, getting a once over by Sawyer. Both leaned on the rail, watching the action below. She could practically feel the trembles from the woman, wondering what Lena was thinking but instead put her focus where it should be. "_Damn Little Danvers._" The game of Chinese Checkers had certainly gotten.._interesting.._

* * *

She had finished grilling, setting everything to the side in the warming tray, now parked next to the Director with the previous Director on the other side of a deeply pondering woman. Arias glanced at Danvers, both staring at Lane who was sweating bullets with her moves. It baffled her, how damn good Zor-El was at this but '_Holy Shit'. _

Sara had taken up the spot to right of Kara, who was still sitting in Megan's lap. The assassin had to admit, she was impressed at this one's skills, especially on a game such as this.

"_Hmmm.._" Lucy was analyzing the board, studying the right move to make, taking the sky blue marble and going for the path to guarantee a solid spot in her opponent's home base now her permanent residence. She was in the home stretch, at least with this marble, removing her thumb and finger, indicating that her turn was over, not realizing the error until one swirled purple marble in three shades was picked up. "_What the.._"

Lane wasn't the only one watching what was done, jaws slack from the clever play that resulted in a twelve jump move and set the final spot at the top of the pyramid. "_Uhhh.._"

"_Daaamn! _Oh she _PLAYED _you Luce." Sam laughed, getting one turned _direct_ Director's glare making her gulp some from the side. Lucy studied the board again, then noticed a faint purple glow from the tips of one of Kara's fingers. She slid her eyes up and into Sara's helping the assassin see what she was by following where her pupils landed. The minute those icy blues did so where she had lead them, Lance's movements shifted some, not missed by Danvers who was trying to figure out what was going on.

"_You know_.._what I was just thinking?_" Lucy ran with it, taking a chance here, but had to know for her sanity if nothing else, after hearing the Red Daughter stories. A couple people quirked eyebrows at her sudden shift in conversation, wondering where she was headed with it. "How _nice _it would be, to add a few other _tongues to.._" A finger tapped against the side of the board and _this time _everyone saw the strange purple glow emulating from two fingers, versus one. When Lucy looked up, Kara's eyes were shut, but there was a different expression held, that had a shiver running down her spine and she couldn't figure out why, until her sentence was cut short by a response none of them expected to hear.

"_**Как русский?**_" A sharp intake of breath was heard from Lane's side, after hearing '_Like Russian' in _the language spoken with a perfect accent, which brought heads turning Alex's way. Her chestnut browns were shivering with a terror that covered her entire face, even more so when her sister's eyes opened that weren't blue at all, not even close to it. Sam and Lucy weren't sure why, but they pulled Alex away from the table, feeling how badly the agent was trembling.

"_Kara?_" The same purple glow that had shown on the tips of her fingers like smoke was now charged with what appeared to tiny surges of lightning. Sara relaxed every bit of the tension she had been holding, turning around until her back was against the table and she had full attention on those set of glowing purple orbs. The only one of them that hadn't tensed, was who held onto Kara a little tighter, putting her chin on her friend's shoulder.

"_Snowbird._ It was what, the '_false' _Alex called me." She looked up, into frightened browns and motioned for her to sit back down. "_**Прости меня. **__Forgive me._" This accent wasn't Kara's in the least, but Alex did as she was instructed, giving a wave for the rest of them to relax, looking into the ethereal purple strobes of power. "I didn't know."

"Is _anyone else here...confused?_" Sam asked, trying to put the pieces together, unsure if the rest of them were as lost as she was with what was happening. She was yanked a bit roughly until she was behind Lucy, who was in an almost defensive stance for some reason. "_What the FUCK is going on?_" Those glowing purple eyes centered on her shaky hazel greens, then to whom was in front of Sam protecting her.

"_You._" Alex knew who this was, with her heart pounding so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of her chest, but couldn't help the nervousness with the accent. "_It.._" She wasn't sure whether to scream or cry or what. "_..it was..you._" When the glow ended, darker blues were locked on two shades of her browns.

"_It was. _I had been given orders, by him, to lure her out of hiding and put her down."

"_By..Lex?_" Lucy finally got her bearings, trying to sort out this mess and wondering where the accent had come from, that was in no way her best friend's.

"_**Да.**_ _Yes. _Not every person here knows what I speak, so I will remain in this.._tongue._ A sincere apology to you Alex. Your pains shall not be repeated on my watch."

"_You.._" She couldn't help it, clenching her fists she had on the table, unable to stop the memory of that night from erupting from her lips. "_You..killed.._" The glow had left fingers too, gasping as her hand was grabbed and held between two strong ones. "_I.._" Alex's tears rolled right down her face, haunted forever with those images.

"You _saved _her. Saved us both." The accent was still just as thick, but there was understanding through darker blues she could see as clear as day.

"_You..saved.._"

"I did. If it had been her absorbed into my body instead, I would have not hesitated to kill the false Alex. She wished to save him, but he would not allow it. Pride before the fall as humans believe yes?"

"She's not completely human?" Lucy questioned.

"_No. _Kryptonian? _That _I am unsure."

"She said something about, you being.._evolved?_"

"Yes. Your planet's hero, America's hero, could not have defeated me. It is how sun turned to moon, through our battle. I explained this, before she learned of my power and looked at it and me with fear. When I released it again, her light along with the sky's light ended. Her eyes betrayed confidence, proving I was the strong one. You had ran towards us. I batted you away, listening for the last beat from her chest. Once silent, I entered the sky and watched."

Alex felt a strong but gentle touch with both her sister's hands, unsure if this was the other Kara or her sister that was doing so. "Your emotions showed me all. Your voice, how you touched her. Your pain, became mine. I understood you had forgotten then. That bond is what my memories reached for, not understanding why." She put her other hand on top of who had called herself Snowbird, swallowing down the lump in her throat as she spoke.

"Did you.._keep her..from..dyin.._" One nod and her world nearly crumbled then and there.

"Her emotions brought brash and foolish decision. I turned us, before we hit the ground. If I had not, ones neck wouldn't have allowed life to continue in that break. I am uncertain why she has darkened as I am in this light. Her mind's cracks are not my own. I lived, from her life." Eyes shifted to Sam, who felt her own grow larger by the minute.

"The.._**Harun-El.**_" Arias had put two and two together, understanding the great lengths Kara had taken to save her from Reign.

"Yes. A decision will come Alex, one only _YOU _can make for her. Who calls her '_Little One' _sends you, '_Brave One' _her blessing to choose." Alex watched a hand come up, with a single finger tracing the gem around her neck, belonging to her sister. That hand and arm immediately dropped onto the table, over the board, limp as the rest of Kara's body went against Megan's own.

"_KARA!_" Alex noticed how calm her friend remained, reaching up to stroke fingers through the hair of a head back against her shoulder now. "_Meg._"

"She's safe Alex. As was my Little Cousin Jennifer and my Aunt Lidiah, that day when she saved them from the wreck. I stood by the tree, watching as she walked away fine, but made sure both of them were okay." She pulled the chain out of her tank, after removing her hand from Kara's hair, lifting it up and off her head, sliding the necklace over her own and let the dog tags fall onto her hero's chest. "_There we go._" Megan kissed the side of Kara's head. "Sergeant Major Megan O'Ceallaigh, of the Army National Guard." She held out her hand to Lucy who shook it eagerly. "Major Lucy Lane, U.S. Army, correct?"

"You would be correct." Lucy smiled, hearing a scoff from up above.

"_Well….shit. _I may have the cuffs, but National Guard? I'm fucked." Both Alex and Lucy broke into laughter and Sara, who had settled back in her seat as did Sam, shook their heads grinning. Megan smirked, but noticed Kara looking up at Maggie and the one next to her.

"Thea, you gonna play next?" She didn't see the Detective kick the woman beside her in the leg, getting a nod from Sawyer. Luckily, the Sergeant flipped the shades down from the top of Kara's head to her face who giggled and returned to the game, setting up her marbles again with Sam pushing Lucy over.

"You _aren't _going down there." Maggie whispered, getting a sigh and nod of the head.

"_I can't. I'll help, then I'll leave Detective. For good._" Neither were aware of the faint glow of purple under the shades Kara wore. The voice had been heard, but for now, it was to remain hidden from who they all rejoiced and protected with every fiber of their being.

No one needed to worry about any of it right now, focusing on the ray of sunshine joking how Sam Arias was going down like jenga blocks. Alex decided to inform the gang she had those too and if Lucy was up for the challenge, that was next on the game day list. It was a beautiful day and their hope was showing that light once more, laughing and loving them all there with her. Let the problems be cast aside and thank Rao she was alive, and _with_ them.._still.._


	6. Dividing Tides Appointed

**Chapter 6: Dividing Tides Appointed**

They waited, glancing up at the beautifully crisp night sky, littered with stars, until they heard a slight bit of cursing on the way over indicating all was good.

"_Pick her up._" Two obliged and she watched with fascination with no fight left in richie rich's body to struggle against the hands that drug the woman back onto her bare feet.

"_Next move?_" The Detective asked, holding one of the CEO's arms, with the Assassin to her left, where one royally pissed off DEO Director held the other, and finally a Sergeant Major that cracked her knuckles with finger-less black workout style gloves that stood before the guilty party. "_So.._Danvers had mentioned something about '_Your Boy?_" Megan chuckled and just shook her head, cracking her neck in the process.

"_Oh. _It's code for back home. An old pal of ours Lucas, a good friend from high school, went to the service with me. Hell, we enrolled at the same time. He took a different field for a career. Long time ago he was varsity for our school, as quarterback. He had a huge crush on Alex, but of course stood _NO _chance in hell of getting even a cafe lunch with her. He was there for me though, when both my parents passed. My mom from a car wreck and my dad from lung cancer. My younger brother Jacob went off to serve proud as a Marine. Now Lucas, he went for a medical degree and became a surgeon of all things. Sadly, I was always bailing his ass out of trouble in school. Jennifer, my littlest Cousin, treated Lucas like a brother and I got a second Mom with Aunt Lidiah. Jen and I work the diner when we can, but our cousins usually handle things or their kids. _Now. Wheeere was I._"

Canary, of all the ones at the Danvers residence, signaled the Serg. to hold off on tearing apart the woman, both verbally and somewhat physically, which Megan studied Sara's eyes then nodded. She stepped back with a heavy grumbled sigh, dropping her arms some then whistling to who was held up. All three looked at her, two curious to her intentions, where the one in the middle was far too out of it even though she heard her. "_Aon chothrom. Dèiligeadh?_" A slight bob of the head was enough for Megan. "_Lower her. Slowly._"

"_You gotta be.._" Maggie was floored, where Lucy growled at the situation but understood the request.

"_Do it._" The Director wasn't thrilled, but there was a reason for everything, and Megan better have a _DAMN good one._ Cursing on both sides, they did as she wanted, confusing the hell out of who their anger was still directed at.

"Come on ladies. _Let's chat._" Sara pulled them away, leaving only two remaining.

The one sitting in the sand dared not move, for repercussions if she did so. She did however glance up, stunned when the soldier and waitress sat down as well. When both were eye level with each other, emerald looked into Ireland green. It wasn't a battle of strength or will, which Lena had honestly waited for one of them to pummel her or drown her in the tides. Her self-confidence was shot to all high hell, though in her mind and dammit her heart too, it didn't matter.

"_Dè as fheàrr leat?_" First, it had been a warning for a second chance given, that could easily be taken away. This second, was a preference of language.

"Whichever _you_ do. I have no preference at this rate. Irish or Gaelic is fine. Are those the only languages you know?" Megan smirked.

"Friends and family gave me both here. The service provided me a few others. I _do _wish to learn Kryptonese now though. The Russian was a dead giveaway. After Alex explained finding Kara, in the worst shape she had seen in a while, as her memories came back one by one of her sister's identity, I felt it might be important to have that beautiful culture spoken by Krypton's living. When she told me how bad this other version of her sister left Kara's body and that her heart stopped beating, I decided to take any language I could add to my repertoire."

"Your training would allow you to easily end my existence if you wished to do so. I am certain you and Alex could use dull kitchen tools to casually dismember my body without breaking a sweat. A do not deserve one ounce of sympathy. They would prefer me dead. Every single one of them up there would agree with that statement. Why on Earth, would you even take a breath in the same air as I when I am toxic to all I touch. How can you sit there and.."

Megan had the businesswoman face down in the sand in a matter of seconds. She locked both arms in a simple position with merely one hand, pushing Lena's arms high enough up her back to be a tad painful. She slid one leg under both of hers, bending her knee to force those knees together, then looped an arm around the two perfectly adjusted, pulling the CEO up onto those knees. "_Do it. Déan é. Maraigh mé. Please. Maraigh mé. Kill me._" She saw what Lena was doing, with no intention of fulfilling what she wanted. Megan let the arms go slipping her leg out from under and just let the sobbing mess fall over. "_Why? Why spare.._"

"I _read _over the medical reports. I read over the tests. I checked every chart and studied every regiment. I forwarded them to Lucas. We've been chatting back and forth as much as possible, without upsetting or concerning anyone. Alex is aware of this." She stood, padded off the sand enough, turned and held her hand out to Lena. Emerald hues flicked from her hand to her face then back to the hand, taking it. Megan pulled her up, let go once stable on not so shaky legs anymore, motioning for Lena to follow. "Come closer to the water. I'm _not _going to drown you or anything."

"I know." She did so, letting the military leader pave the way, feeling the softness of damp sand that only increased the closer they got to the swash of the shore. Being barefoot like this, reminded her of Clare Island, which she didn't feel she deserved to visit anymore. This beach, this place felt like nothing but gentleness. For Superman to bring his cousin here to the Danvers house and family, Lena could see even more why it had been the perfect choice. She noticed something with this Megan, trying to remove the feeling of this stranger rubbing her the wrong way. Perhaps it was how rather protective she was of the best friend she fucked up with, or the closeness that wasn't a normal friend. That's when she noticed what was around the Irishwoman's neck. "_What is.._" _Was that..the..Kara's necklace..?_

"Alex asked if I would keep it safe while she trained." Megan explained. "When it comes to them, there is nothing I wouldn't do, wouldn't stop every bit of my life for. She saved my Aunt and Cousin. She saved the family I and my brother came to have, when our parents died. She risked it all and when I saw the footage, I was moved by what I watched. I had suspicions, when Lucas caught sight of someone who looked like Alex filling up her bike in town. The woman was crying, her hands shaking when she went to pump the gas into the tank. He didn't mean to stare, but called me immediately on my day off. I headed over to his place and on a whim, we went over the footage that the news stations and net posted. I listened to the voice, as he studied the picture."

Without alerting Lena that she was studying everything about her body language and facial expressions as they spoke, Megan wondered if this was the time to bring up how her friend might be able to assist in the medical gang that attempted ways to aid in Kara's recovery. If Lucas could figure out a reversal with things… '_Kara's pain would lessen.' _Just as she was about to comment on the gathering at the diner, a voice came over the radio at her hip. Megan had forgotten about the walkie talkie distribution, catching Lena's eyes now looking right where the device was clipped. "_Hmmm.._" She was tempted to grab the earpiece and remove the CEO's chance to hear what would be broadcast, but went on instinct like she always did.

"I have no right to listen. _But..please.._" Irish on emerald and Megan _prayed _she was doing the right thing. _If not? Heaven and hell help her, from one..pissed off..Alex Danvers.._

* * *

"_Switch._" Two pint sized ice cream containers were traded, with both sitting in the living room watching one of their favorite programs on Netflix. Alex had never been so grateful that her sister remembered every episode, considering her memories were all over the place. She began to consider the reason for that being the other version they had all witnessed while out in the back. Right now though, she was enjoying Kara leaned against her with them sharing a blanket like they would do on sister's nights. Everyone had given them both that space, knowing Alex needed this time alone with her. "_Wanna switch programs?_"

"_Switch?_" Kara's puppy eyes _always_ seemed to get Alex to cave. Especially during these precious days. She handed over their favorite of the two, getting the other as they tapped their cartons. "_Here's to the Danvers Sisters._" She felt her eyes light up at what she heard, with a smile growing.

"_We should come with a warning._" They tapped their containers again and just started laughing. What they didn't expect, was a little ball of black fur to jump up and attack one of the lids. "_Noooo! Bad Streaky! Ba.._" She sighed, when her sister held out a spoon with just a tiny drop of the rainbow sorbet ice cream. "_Spoiled._" Alex knew a couple of them were watching, but let it be for now. The purr-ball jumped down and ran for the hills, after getting the _Agent Danvers_ stare. She set hers down and wrapped an arm around Kara's waist to pull her closer, who set hers beside the other one. Her stomach dropped when who she held gently but protectively, pulled up the long sleeves of Alex's old shirt with constellations on it. "_Kar?_" She wasn't sure the right thing to say if her sister asked, terrified of what might come out of Kara's mouth when they became visible to her. _Did she..already know? _

"_I did these, didn't I._" Those uncanney blues looked up and if her own chestnut ones weren't quivering before, they were shaking like crazy now. "_Please Lex..sis..will you tell me?_" Alex couldn't lie or hide the dread of what she knew anymore, or shield her sister from the inevitable, like she had for days and nights on end. Kara was searching for answers and somehow she _knew_ that her big sis had what she sought. Suddenly, all that bravery and _'B__adass'_ nature had vanished with one solid plead in those eyes. Instead of saying it, Alex nodded, too speechless to speak the words and deliver answers in that manner. Either that or a cowardly way out. "_**Rraos?**_"

"_Why?_" Kara had not only spoken the word perfectly, but _knew _what it meant. "_**Tarriv Rrip Wem?**_" There wasn't any confusion, which had her mind rattling with so many questions it made her dizzy from it all.

"_Why uh..why do..I..think? That right?_" Alex could only nod again. "_This._" She watched her sister lean to the side and slide something out from under one of the pillows on the sofa. Panic set in immediately, noticing the album. It wasn't just her voice that had fled, but all coherent thought to stop what was about to happen. "_This?_" The photo album was opened and before she could gather her bearings, the cover they made as kids, was removed with the utmost care. "Two places. _Two _homes." She swallowed, down the lump in her throat, even when Kara slid back against her lounged but with a cautious posture that Alex picked up on immediately. She held that same cautiousness, trying not to let it show, until a soft gentle hand covered the one she rested on her sister's stomach. Her other hand was grabbed and put on the cover, as both of them traced the carvings. "_Our first project.._"

"_..together._" Their smiles were identical at that.

"_**Aoe..El Mayarah.**_" They pronounced the kryptonese perfectly, together, relishing in the presence of the other there with them.

"_**Aoe. **__Sister. Stronger Together._" Kara spoke softly, gently leaning forward to set the cover down on the table. She opened up the photo album, putting her head back just in time to see her big sister's expression that hadn't hid it in time. "_Sisters forever?_"

"Yep." Alex would do her best to regulate her breathing, calm down the pounding in her chest and release the tension running through her entire body. The bravery Kara always showed not only as Supergirl but also the blessing in Alex's life that had appeared at the front door and into their world, was what she needed to be for her now and dammit she _wouldn't_ fail her again.

"_Sad._" Kara traced the first photograph with her hand, feeling the weight of her own pain captured in film. "_You _took it."

"I did. _Kar.._" _Too late. _The page was turned and when it was, Alex couldn't help but hold her breath.

"_**Wai Aoe. **__Breathe please._" Kara waited until she felt the push against her back, knowing she was doing so. "_Comic-Con?_" She didn't know the impact of her question in the least.

Alex felt more than her stomach drop. Her sister didn't _know_ who Supergirl was, which became apparent with the next thing that left Kara's lips. "_Who is Supergirl?_"

"_Wh..who..do you think.._she is?" This was it. _Judgement day. _

"_I.._" Kara shut her eyes until an excruciating stabbing in her skull ripped the air straight out of her lungs, slapping her eyelids up as she let out a gut wrenching scream. In an instant, any and all in the area were booking it towards the noise. Consequences be damned when the Symbol of Hope they still saw her as, struck every single soul with an intensity unlike anything they had felt before.

"_G...get..her...d..d..down..t..to.._" Lucy could see how quickly Alex was unraveling when tremors raked her entire body and the onslaught of a panic attack was setting in. Sam moved with Maggie, working in tandem to bring Kara into the vast sun room, where they could lay her on the center mattress, taking a page out of Alex's book. The minute they had her onto her back, she arched up, dropped down and released a much louder scream then moments ago. Her body spasmed brutally, hands trembling with fingers curling. Before either knew how to help, Megan and Lena were trying to keep her still while taking one of her hands each. They looked at one another, nodded in agreement and heard cursing come from Alex when Lucy practically carried her over.

"_Where's your doc stuff Danvers?!_"

"_Tool Chest! Top..top shelf to left in office. HURRY!_" Maggie was up with the intention of booking it that direction, when it was Nia to run past her. The Detective dropped down and grabbed one of Sam's hands squeezing like crazy. Sara had screamed at Thea to grab her helmet so they can rush off to get Eliza, Felicity and Kelly. Megan told Maggie her code, who went to get the phone out of her backpack. Sam had to sit back some, gripping to one of the beds with tears pouring down her face. "_Sam! I need you to trade..trade places with Lena._"

"_Kit?_" Alex nodded and the businesswoman let her prior CEO take over the hand she never wanted to let go of again if she could help it. This former Director needed Lena's head on straight and on autopilot, when she opened the medical kit and searched in the second tray for what she knew Alex wanted. "_Ready?_" She had just twisted the inflation bag on, handing Alex gloves along with the laryngoscope, putting them on just as quick as she did, sliding next to the older of the Danvers' sisters, while they worked as one unit when the endotracheal tube was pushed through what Alex had slid into Kara's throat. She waited until signaled and began to squeeze the bag to push air through. "_C'mon. C'mon Sis. Don't do this again. Not again._"

"_Got it!_" Maggie brought the unlocked device by Megan's face.

"_Call Luka!_" She yelled into it, which it followed her command to the letter. "_Speaker!_"

"_Breathing. Pulse still a little weak._" Lucy informed them, relying on some of her old school college CPR, First Aid training she had learned back in the day.

"_Mega Major! Sooo..ditched me for a certain Danvers in town? Which one I wonder._" The male voice rang true and before Megan could respond, Alex had beaten her to it. The new Director smacked her arm lightly, signalling Kara's pulse was steady.

"_Lucas..I..we..need your help. _Where are you at. _Fuck. Fuck! C'mon...c'mon Sis._"

"_Same house? I've got my truck packed up. Be there in a good fifteen, Alexa._" She would kick his ass later, hearing her sister's breathing even out. She motioned Lena to quit squeezing and knelt down to whisper to her sister to breathe out in three, so she could remove the tube. As Kara did, coughing came with it and Alex set the intubation objects to the side. Luckily, Nia was on key. She handed her a room temp water bottle and straw. Once her sister's head was in her lap and she carefully lifted her up some and the bottle cap was twisted off with the straw slipped in. When it was brought to Kara's lips, slow sips were taken and with it, she hoped it would soothe her dry throat.

"_Gay as the day is long Luka. You should know._" She wasn't able to keep focus on the phone call with her friend, too concerned with tremors of fear taking hold just a little tighter than usual. A slight whimper with a hint of panic had her crying for her sister, unaware she was already there and holding her with all the love in the world. The sounds of those sobs, just a hint of mumbling, partnered with the littlest of vocal fears had been just enough to alert the receiver on the phone who it was, remembering as Megan did, that tone from when they were kids. "_Hey Kara? Remember Luka? Took you to my Uncle's house for our slip and slide party? Kara. Hey kiddo. Remember? The pool gathering? Come on honey._"

"_Luuuk...k..ka.._" Alex's gaze met Megan's, both shock and relief visible in their expressions. Kara was whimpering, but thrashing less. His voice was _calming_ her some and they took it as some incredible blessing. "_You...gelato condiviso..shared...ice crea.._" Her tears had everyone, including Megan and who had ran in with her, shedding them too.

"_I did. I shared my ice cream cookie sandwich with you. Così gentile. Remember? You told me that._" Lucy '_psst' _to Alex, trying to figure out what language.

"_Italian._" Lena whispered as softly as she could. She was counting her blessings that no one had thrown her out the door. _Yet._

"_So..kind. Così gentile. So kind. You um..come..Qui?_" Maggie couldn't help but be stumped by the simple, caring and so very thankful actions to which she was doing her best to help with. She was gripping Nia's hand, who was modifying the strength she used on the Detective's. Dreamer didn't need to crush this amazing person's own, after showing her such comfort with what she had done before.

"_I'm coming there kid. I'll bring you a couple of those ice cream sandwiches. Why don't we stay on the phone. Don't wanna leave you hanging by the pool without your protector. So I heard blondie locks isn't in Midvale anymore? Went red and short on me?_"

"_L'ho fatto._" Lucy was hesitant but handed Lena her phone for the translator app on the list. Once opened, even though the Director figured the CEO already knew the language fluently, she still held it out so the rest of them could see it when it showed '_I did'._ What they didn't know, was Lena wasn't the _only _one that understood.

"_Portane alcuni._" Megan smiled, stroking Kara's knuckles and nodding to Sam who mirrored her movements.

"_I'll bring more than a few, Megara. You're not a damsel. Not in distress. I think you can tie your own sandals and everything._" A few of them chuckled, including the one laying down. "_Bringing three flavors. I can handle this. Even from the underworld._" Megan rolled her eyes at who had everyone in a better mood. "_I left hubby with the fates. He's working on the indoor plumbing. It's actually dangerous since he doesn't know how to change out the right P-Trap. I feel for the fireman._"

"Get your ass _here _already." After Lucas spoke another quote to make Kara giggle, even with a slight cough, he ended the call and once more with Megan's eyes rolling at his antics. However, the tension rose, as her hand stilled, when the most beautiful of blue met emeralds in the most intense of stares. In a heartbeat, she had reached out to snatch the free hand of Alex's and right away their thoughts matched perfectly in sync.

"_Le...Lee?_" Lena was speechless, when Sam placed the hand she was holding in one of hers. She accepted that and embraced it tenderly with both of hers. She couldn't stop them from shaking, but tried anyway. "_Got..my.._" Confusion filtered through Kara's facial features, as if trying to place the memory. "_Vid...hurt. All wrong. Wrong me. __**Udol. Khap Nahn Udol.**_" No one could move, the minute she turned her arm and looked directly at where '_Bad, evil, wrong' _all meaning the same, had been carved there, by her almost two months ago. "_You...you hurt. One in..red. One in blue...fake. Hurt Lee. Me. So..rry._"

"_Never _say sorry. _I'm so sorry Kara._" The trembling wouldn't stop, but still she held her best friend's hand as gently as possible. Their gazes didn't relent or break. She barely heard the sound getting closer, but didn't let go despite it.

"_Away._" Everyone turned to the hissed voice, even Kara that glanced to where one of their gang was dressed in her hero attire, even with the bandit mask, aiming an arrow pulled back at her bow. She was downright pissed, seeing the Luthor so close to the sunlight she had torn apart and left to the darkness with what she had done.

"_Easy._" Felicity walked over, Eliza and Kelly beside her and Sara stepping beside her little sister, bringing two fingers onto the arrow and lightly pushing down. The two women snarled words at each other, but Thea relaxed the bow string and indeed lowered what she itched to shoot right through the cursed business bitch's brain.

"_Hey sunshine._" She ignored who was way too close for Felicity's comfort, setting down her kit and pointing to Alex's case. "I take it you got an IV and all that jazz in there?"

"I do. _What is.._" All eyes landed on a now open metal case with two syringes inside, One with a copper ring and one with a silver band. Browns shivered when looking at both, noticing how the blonde had asked everyone to back up, including the woman who didn't want to let go of her sister's hand in any way shape or form.

"Got a question, for.._both _of you." Felicity waited until the tool style case was slid over already open, being told the light blue zip up case had her IV kit in there. She was about to lay down the toughest decision the Danvers Sisters would ever make. _'Please..don't let this, ruin everything..'_

* * *

Felicity helped Alex pull Kara up into an almost sitting position leaned back against her sister. "_Can..all of you leave?_"

"_Like. Hell._" Lucy growled.

"_Not moving._" Sam spoke firmly.

"_Not leaving my Danvers' girls._" Maggie challenged, slid next to Alex's side now.

"_No._" Nia spoke, dressed in her Dreamer attire.

"_Ní dóigh liom go bhfuil. I..don't think so._" Megan said in both languages.

"_Over my dead body. Thar mo chorp marbh._" Lena knew who had just released Irish, would recognize their mutual tongue of Gaelic that came from her. It was then, when heavy footsteps with a much deeper growl than Lucy could ever elicit, a slide let go and a click of a chamber was warranted by the partner of the woman holding their hope protectively. In a familiar stance, steady hands and a solid aim, the woman holding the glock never faltered in her position nor movement. She wouldn't move, but _dared _the putrid CEO to do so.

"_Get..AWAY from..MY..girlfriend, AND her sister. NOW!_" This was a side she hadn't seen before. This aggression wasn't something intimate, or even protective. Alex recognized it and for the first time, she felt a tinge of anger rising within her. Someone had a gun out, and aimed far too close to her sister. All hell was _going _to rain down. "_Get. Out._" One hand fell away and the wrist turned until the gun was sideways, still aimed. "_Leave!_" She flicked her gaze to who had gradually slid in front of her sister and furthermore..._her. _It wasn't just them, but Lena too. _Not fast enough, _she kept thinking. _. _

"_Shit.._" Instinct as a cop was to reach for her sidearm, cursing under her breath when she realized she wasn't armed and another set of profanity warranted the realization that neither was the Director. That's when they saw both their guns at Kelly's foot, kicked further away from them all. "_Danvers._" Maggie saw it clear as day when she saw that single finger curl, eyes widening unable to fathom how to use her voice to warn them. Lucy however _could. _

"_ALEX!_" _Two late. _The trigger was pulled, yet no bullet released. The sounds a firearm makes when releasing the ammo, was absent. The gun didn't lower, slide pulled back again, with hands changed, two steps towards them, with hers and the Detective's impossible to get to now. Kelly was blocking that path. She knew how to shoot with either hand, just as steady and even Alex swallowed down the lump in her throat.

"_Get...AWAY! Luthors DON'T belong here! You SCREW MY BROTHER! Used him up. You used MY girlfriend! Look at what YOU did! Isn't she stressed enough?! GET AWAY FROM HERE!_" The trigger was pulled and once more the same sound was heard, even though everyone jumped now. The free hand reached back, came forward and turned the firearm the other way. Something was shown, explaining why nothing had been fired before. The packed magazine was shoved into well of the handle, until the click was heard. The slide was pulled back, gun changing hands again. "_Get. Out. _You've been around _MY _girlfriend enough! You _aren't _welcome! Your post traumatic stress disorder has brought upon stress to _MY_ girlfriend and the rest of my comrades here. Your attendance is creating negative consequences for the rest of us. How your critical inner voices and unworthiness in those twisted thoughts of yours are only bringing violation by your assertive actions. _One. More. Chance._"

"_Danvers._" Maggie put a hand behind her back, scooting back just enough, feeling the correct amount of taps on her palm. "_Maybe we should.._"

"_STOP THIS! _Kelly, I get your anger but _dammit _we came to _help NOT hinder!_"

"_NOT with HER here. Leave...NOW! LEAVE!_" Kelly yelled, unable to hold in the anger anymore. She was done with this calm collective demeanor. That ends. _Now. _"_Take 'THAT' out of here! Get her..away..from MY fucking GIRLFRIEND! YOU!" _She knew she couldn't keep contain the disdain, rage, disgust and hate anymore and without saying the words, part of her wished _both _problems would leave. "Those masked _MANIACS! Your PUTRID BROTHER! It's ALL...because of YOU! We were FINE! Everything was FINE! Alex suffered BECAUSE of YOU! Because of YOU PEOPLE!_"

"_You know…..Soooo done with this..Soap._" The Detective studied the line of sight and with that evidence, her blood began to boil. _Things were GOING to change. _She curled her pinky and another correct amount of taps were felt. _Game on. _Maggie yawned, stretching out until she had her legs in Lena's lap, resting over both Danvers' ones and a head in Lucy's. She stretched even further, getting cheeky and slapping Megan's ass. "_Too much...testosterone._"

"_Agreed._" Megan smirked, watching Kelly swing her arm but not fast enough. The glock was grabbed from the psychologist's hand, magazine dropped out and the round safely removed out the back. In mere moments, the entire gun was disassembled and pieces dropped to the floor, the psychologist too, after a pressure point that easily left her sawing logs. "_Theeeeere she is!_"

Stunning blue eyes, lighter than most, a wavy bit of short blonde hair slightly spiked in the back, a smile that could make the sun rise just like hers and the muscles to make gay _and _straight boys swoon were on display with him in a sky blue muscle tank and comfortable tan cargo pants. No combat boots, but tan colored sandals fit the rest of him and when he knelt down, he let that smile reach who it was meant to. "_Brought your favorite kid._"

He had picked up what he set down to disarm the one still standing probably too flabbergasted to move by his actions, holding out the goodie in the package getting the happiest of expressions from sparkling blue eyes of who he came to see and help. She took what was given then lunged in to hug him, after the Detective moved. Maggie saw what was brought to '_Little Danvers' _and smiled. A candy sprinkled chocolate chip cookie sandwich with Neapolitan ice cream had been brought for Kara. It was then she noticed the packaging and put two and two together. With strong but gentle arms, he wrapped around her to reciprocate the hug.

Alex felt a smile tug at her lips, partially hugging Lucas too and before long Megan was joining them. Soft light blues looked to a pair of emeralds and an expression of appreciation for his presence, among things. He motioned with his head to join in on the hug, smiling even more when she did just that. Lena felt an arm around her, from none other than Megan. Meanwhile, Maggie, Lucy and Sam fell back with a long sigh, as if breathing for the first time in hours. Nia had joined Thea, sitting against the wall. Sara walked over to Kelly, flung her over her shoulder in a fireman carry, walking to where Eliza and Felicity were waiting for her. She would let her little sister watch over the group.

With the calm, _BEFORE _she brought up the storm, she just let it go and smiled when hearing Kara giggle and light joking banter amongst the gang. The decision could wait for now. _Let them all embrace in a light..only ONE truly held, like the angel she was, in everyone's eyes.._


End file.
